Who I Am & Where I'm Headed

I'm just your average atypical guy in his mid-twenties who grew up in the lower middle class of America. As a child I was deemed strange and weird. Through out elementary school I often found myself eating lunch alone and befriending the special ed kids. They were the only ones who truly understood me. Many a times I was caught talking to myself, not to imaginary friends, but simply to myself. I could hold deep conversations with myself for hours, regardless of who was around. Up until middle school I was my own best friend.

Once I entered my teen years I slowly began to get the feeling that weird wasn't a synonym for cool. Being cool got you popularity but being weird just got me beat up. Of course I tried to be cool, but it was a lesson in life that you can't pretend to be something that you're not and I was definitely not cool.
By the time I started high school I was tired of being the kid who got picked on so I turned to weight lifting hoping that gaining physical strength and muscle would ward off any more attacks. To my surprise it worked. I made it out of my teens alive and went straight to college.

I went to a couple of different universities but I ended up at the University of North Texas. I majored in Social Studies Education. It was there that the pressures of fitting in just melted away and I was free to just be me. As a sexually repressed homosexual I was finally able to openly seek out other gay guys, and have sex without shame or embarrassment.

I made many choices in college, some good and some bad. Some of the choices I made had little to no affect on my life, others would change my life forever. Getting into the porn industry was one of those choices. Strangely enough, I never really watch porn, even before getting into the business. My masturbation material of choice was always men's fitness magazines and my imagination. I have been doing adult modeling for the past three years and it has been an experience that I have both loved and hated. It has put me with sexual partners that were less passionate than a blow-up doll, turned hot sexual encounters into day-long painful endurance tests, and caused some of my former closest friends to cut ties with me. But that’s all part of the job and I knew it when I started.On the other hand, Porn has given me some of the best sexual experiences in my life, fulfilled many of my fantasies, introduced me to more friends than I could of ever dreamed of having, paid for my student loans, and it has uncovered a self-confidence in me that I never knew I had.

I have never been an ambitious person, I have always been content with a simple life, simple goals, and simple rewards. For as long as I could remember all I ever wanted was a stable job, independence, and a place to call home. Just like anyone else I would love to have someone incredible to share that with but I never really got my hopes up that I would actually fall in love. The idea seemed so foreign to me. But just like it happens in a Hollywood movie, it happened to me, when I least expected it. Now that I know what being in love feels like it has become one of my life goals to get that feeling back.

Nobody knows what the future holds but I am currently trying to save enough funds to pay for graduate school. I am aiming to get a Doctorate in Education so that I can skip the whole high school teaching gig and head straight for a college professor position. At the same time I am training for a Marathon and a Bike Race, for the purpose of raising money and awareness to help find a cure for some of the world’s most debilitating diseases. If I have any money left over after all that then I want to take a road trip across the country, something I have been planning for years. And maybe buy some new underwear.