14 October 2008

Ask The Nation: Hygiene Issues

Hi Mason,

I'm having some troubles in regards to sex, so who better to ask than a porn star(or whatever level of celebrity you've attained)?

I am an 18 yr old who is fairly inexperienced but I'm willing to learn more and more from this other guy who I'm seeing at the moment. We've had sex about four times now and he's barebacked me all 4 times (thank god he has a small dick because it hurts enough as it is).

Apart from the pain there is one rather unpleasant issue with this...shit. The last two times I have noticed the smell of shit and afterwards I've wiped it off my ass (vomit), he hasn't said anything, I don't know whether he didn't notice by some miracle or he's just being polite but there is nothing more embarrassing.

I basically wipe my ass raw every time I go to the toilet and each time before I go to see him I have a shower and try to wash my douche out as best I can, I even bend over and try to get some water in there but once he starts screwing me everything seems to go all...well u know. Its a serious turn off and there is nothing more disgusting that I can think of than shit on a penis. So I pose thee this question:

What should I do to clean out my douche? What do you do? Is there some sort of cleanex I can stick up there or will I have to start wearing a scented pine tree around my ass?

Please, I beg u if u have the time give me some advise because this guy I'm with is going to introduce me to his friend in the near future who is unbelievably hot. He also has a rather large phallus.

Sincerely Yours,
Sydney's soon to be Total Cock Slut :)



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Dear Inexperienced,


You're not alone. Everybody has an asshole and everybody poops. I've known lots of people who in the beginning failed to figure out the proper way to convert there exit only tunnel into a two-way street. And there are other porn performers on that list. But sex of course is a learning experience and when it comes to anal hygiene its pretty easy to learn the error of our ways.

The first thing we need to clear up is your vocabulary, Your definition of the word "douche" seems to be incorrect. A douche is not your pleasure zone. The word douche generally has two meanings, it is often used as a noun meaning a device used to insert a stream of water into your anal cavity (and vagina for women) or it is used as a verb meaning the act of cleansing. See visual example on the left.


Now that we have that straightened out you should have an idea of what I will say next. YOU NEED TO DOUCHE OUT YOUR HOLE. Wiping is never enough. There are many different devices available to us when it comes to anal hygiene. From stand alone rubber and plastic ones all the way to stainless steel contraptions that attach to your shower head. Regardless of which one you choose make sure you know how to properly operate it. The one above speaks for itself, fill it with warm water, insert the tip into your anus as far as it can go, squeeze most of the water deep in your hole, hold the water in you for a few minutes, then release. Repeat this a few times till the water you flush out is clear.


If you choose to go with a fancier one, like the one shown on the right, then make sure not to OVER fill yourself with water and make sure the water pressure isn't extremely high, rupturing your intestines would probably hinder your hopes of becoming Sydney's biggest bottom boy.


Some people choose to go with a local pharmacy device better known as the enema. This works perfectly fine as long as you remember to empty out the solution it comes stocked with and replace it with water. This is very important because the sodium phosphate solution it comes stocked with is a LAXATIVE, meaning it will cause you to shit all night instead of fuck all night.


Remember that patience is a virtue, some days it may take just two flush outs until you are good to go and other days it may take alot more.


And don't let the fear of making a no-no stop you from enjoying the pleasure of having your hole stuffed. Though if you are thorough then the chances of giving someone a brownie surprise are pretty slim, but sometimes, Shit Happens. Don't let the embarrassment ever stop you from getting back on the horse and trying again. Just make sure you flush yourself out more the next time around.


If the problem persists, which I doubt it would, but if it did, you might want to try investing in some Colonic Hydrotherapy. Google it.


I hope this advice helps you become the best total cock slut Sydney has ever plowed. Make sure you keep us updated!


Sincerely,
Gay Porn's Currently Over-Exposed Cock Slut
Mason Wyler


What advice would you give Sydney's soon to be Total Cock Slut?

33 comments:

  1. Your awesome mason Thanks for sharing all of this with us! Loves!

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  2. I think you said it all Mason....you covered everything that he needs to know....
    But i agree with watching the water pressure, and how it may take a couple times. I know how it can be and trust me don't turn the water pressure up higher if you barely feel it. its ok for it to be low pressure. My best friend turned the pressure up to high once and lets just say thank god he's a really really good top :) lol

    Sincerely,
    i don't have a slut name
    Kellin

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  3. I agree with your advice Mason. Personally I've never cared for emptying the fleet enemas. And as long as you can plan for bottoming then of course flushing out. We have the shower shot & the handheld rubber contraption. just like you say... keep the water pressure low.

    also a quick note... after you get yourself thoroughly cleaned out... take one trip back to device of preference and go from warm water to cold water. it will help tighten that nice pucker back up for the top upon entry. and will loosen back up as a matter of events to follow :-)

    p.s. one thing that can help keep flushings to a minimum- make sure to keep fruits, vegetables & whole grains as a part of your daily diet. makes for a happy colon & a naturally clean anal cavity. it makes for more compact and solid movements that won't "odorize" the cavity.

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  4. Yeah, Mason basically gave you all the advice I could have given and more. If your afraid to go to a porn shop go online and type in anal douche. It is so easy to use and are very discreet you can bring anywhere. I douche like 3 or 4 times and mske sure all the water is out of my ass before I leave the bathroom. So yeah, and as for the pain. Relax..breath control is key. Take a deep breath and relax. Even though your ass wants to clentch, dont let it. And barebacking is dangerous. I hope you at least both got tested. Just becareful kiddo

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  5. Mason's got all the bases covered, and thoroughly. Though I am more of a top, when I am in the mood to have my ass pounded thoroughly, I get out my rubber bag enema. They're sold at most drugstores for about $20. It comes with a long hose, an enema nozzle, a douche nozzle, and a stopper. I like the red rubber bag, because if you wanna get kinky with it you can (piss enema etc).

    On the worst occasions, Its taken a couple hours and more than a couple runs of the enema to make my hole pristine. But, it does the job. For example, - 11, thick, black inches of hotness ravaged my ass all night, on one occasion. All that ever was on his dick when he pulled out was his bright, white cum.

    As Mason said, shit does happen. I would advise performing a deep, thorough cleaning before nights of marathon fucking. If you do it too shallowly, later in play you'll wind up with a smelly surprise.

    If its a quick pump n dump, a shallow washing is sufficient.


    Also, diet and your "regularity" have a lot to do with it. Don't plan on eating junk food and processed food and then having a quick wash. I am a fan of pnp, once in a while, and when I plan that, I watch what I eat a couple days prior, so that I can make sure everything is out of me before I douche.

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  6. Couldn't have said it better myself - you pretty much covered everything!

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  7. all that advice is very good, expert I must say. remember, the saying goes, "if you're walking down a dirt road, you're bound to get muddy boots." :)

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  8. Cool. Do you also have advice for those who are insecure about their penis size? Not that you'd have any reason to be self conscious about that.

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  9. Well I think first of all we need to stop the barebacking or at least know what the status is of the guy doing the topping. Use a condom until you both get tested together! Trust no one with your life; take the time to make sure.

    Besides that Mason has provided good advice.

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  10. Dear Wannabe Cock Slut:

    Listen to Mason; he's an expert on this topic and you're lucky to be getting the advice of a pro. My advice to you pertains to your hopes of seducing the top with the big cock. I would advise you to practice with a big dildo first. If you're having trouble with your small-dicked friend, it will be even worse when you try getting plowed by King Dong. As a well-endowed top myself, I can tell you there is nothing more frustrating than to drive all the way home with some bottom boy I pick up at a bar, who tells me he's ready to get fucked; get all hot and bothered, and then be told he just can't take it. A tight hole is no good if you can't take a cock at all. So remember - practice makes perfect!

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  11. I love the fact that a bottom FINALLY cares about this! I now dick slap my bottoms with my cock if there's shit on it -- they quickly learn. Mason's got his bases covered. :)

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  12. I really hope more people read this and realize that it is about more than just themselves to think about. Thanks for posting this and you are not a slut.

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  13. I dont think i could have said it better... I think you have said it all Mason!

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  14. I have a friend that is nervous that even if you do it right that in the long term you could cause damage to the anal cavity what can you say on this?

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  15. I'm shocked that only one person has informed this kid to start using condoms as well, and I'm REALLY shocked that person wasn't Mason. Really Sydney, when you go to the drug store or sex store to buy whatever douching supplies you decide to get, grab some condoms, too. You're 18 and should have a long, healthy life in front of you. Don't screw it up by getting some std. You're in a shitty situation already. Don't make it even shittier. And your guy should understand where you're coming from on protecting yourself if he truly cares about you.

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  16. Condom!...Probably you at some point you tought about it, and for whatever reason u decide to get barebacked...maybe in a couple of months u should think in a HIV test...im sorry but,nowadays anybody can get infected even in the first sexual act,specially if u r doing bareback.
    U r 18! so young,so many things to do with your life,HIV is not as terrible like in the 80's but is still a very big problem.

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  17. As an wise old man said to me. "It's chocolate factory down there...full of suprises!"

    Shit is the least suprise for this kid. If he's just starting out to become Sydney's biggest slut, he should start to learn to use condoms. It's a good habit.

    It's better to switch to barebacking later in life than to switch to using condoms!

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  18. I'd just like to say that after douching anal sex feals much better. I think it's cause while solid waste is in thr your muscles naturaly contract but without the need to move solid waste or hold it in it loosens up and becomes two way. Nothing feels worse to me then realising half way through that you should have douched.

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  19. A lot of this can be solved with diet. I don't douche because I don't have any need to, there's never any shit, it's not a storage facility.

    Bring on the fibre!

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  20. Hi there....
    When you are going to have a cock up your ass...My favorite thing in the world i might add. SHIT HAPPENS.... If a man is going to put his cock up you ass he will expect that there may or may not be some shit. It happens. SHIT JUST HAPPENS.... You can prevent it by,
    1, Never having a nice hard cock up your ass. I WOULD DIE
    2, Clean out (Take a dump)
    3, Clense.

    But remeber, if his cock is 10 to 12 inch long first give him my number and second there still may be a little poop on the pecker...

    And finally

    SHIT HAPPENS

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  21. I started bottoming for my partner only a year ago, never had it before that. I use a little sex toy bulb and hose to put one or two bulbs of water in and flush out over the toilet or in the shower.

    You want to clean out just the rectal area, any more water (it will take it) will go up past the top? rectal sphincter into the large intestine.

    There is always some shit somewhere in the intestine, either you clean out just the rectum so you won't have that gotta go feeling, or else you have to do a whole lot more to see clean water.

    Also I always have a cum rag for cleanup later. ;-)

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  22. When I first started in the wonderful gay world, one guy gave me the advice that I thought was the best one (besides the condom part): Take a dump always at the same time (2 or 3 times a day). For instance, when I get up at 5am (yeah, I start my day early), 3pm (when I get home) and 10pm (when i go to bed). It's important to make your intestines get used to a routine (as the other will be the dick up the ass). That way, you'll keep the "tube" clean and you won't have smelly surprises!
    I honestly never flushed or anything like that, and never had the unpleasent surprise of the chocolate factory. Probably it's was damn luck...I don't know. But the fact is, it works!
    The diet part is very important as well.
    It's my 2 cents...
    Have a nice day!

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  23. Great advice Mason! Keep it coming. I top for guys myself and I do find it to be important to clean out down there. It's not a good sign when you pull out smelling like shit. Thanks again for the advice.

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  24. HEY PEOPLE JUST BE CAREFUL ABOUT USING THAT PRESSURE WASHER IN YOUR ASS. I WORK IN HEALTHCARE AND ONE DAY WE HAD A PATIENT WHO WENT IN FOR EMERGENCY RECTAL REPAIR (VERY PAINFUL SURGERY )SINCE HIS RECTUM GOT DAMAGED FROM TOO MUCH PRESSURE WHILE WASHING DOWN THERE. I BELIEVE IT WOULD TAKE A WHILE BEFORE HE COULD BOTTOM AGAIN. THATS SAD RIGHT...SO JUST BE GENTLE BOYS.

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  25. Great advice out there.. This was hinted when they said they watch what they eat. I've found its not just about what you eat a day or so prior, but also how much of it. In other words, over-eating doesn't help..!

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  26. I'm a yop and I get shit on my cock every now n again. ijust make the boy lick it off me.

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  27. good advice from mason. i have done some research on bottomming and if u know ahead of time that you are going to get fucked, it is best to clean out a few hours ahead of time so all the water gets absorbed after your hole is cleaned out. also, taking metamucil everyday makes the whole process a lot easier and less messy in case you dont eat enough fiber. happy fucking!!

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  28. Use a condom is the best advice. Anything else is plain dumb.

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  29. Ya using a condom is the best way to protect yourself but you shouldn't throw good hygiene out the window just because he has a condom on. If you are into shit then go ahead but considering devices are made for cleanlyness they should be used. Come on people it's 20 bucks for a douche you can use repeatedly. If you can afford to go to the bar you can afford to go to walgreens and pick one up.

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  30. Believe it or not, Mason, one of your fellow students at CFU, 'Dawson', just released a video wherein he explains his pre-anal sex prep regimen. It is the first part of 'Noah's First Time' and is at once extremely hot and highly instructive. I mean it's 25 minutes of watching this stunning former all-state wrestler buck nekkid sticking various sized dildos in his butt! Bravo, Corbin :)

    One of the things Dawson mentions that is good to know is that pre-prepared enemas, like Fleets, actually contain 'cathartic' agents -- usually magnesium salts -- that will clean you out a little more than you want or need to be. Water is fine.

    Even with water, excessive douching can be irritating. Moreover, it can remove the protective mucous coating and top layer of cells from the anus and rectum, making it more susceptible to various infections and other problems like anal fissures.

    Of course wiping your ass excessively will chafe and irritate your your anus, too. A small amount of Preparation H, +/- hydrocortisone cream (not oil based ointment) can alleviate the irritation somewhat.

    Lastly, unless you're 100% sure your partner is negative and you are in an exclusive relationship, bareback is a BAD idea!

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  31. UM EXCUSE ME?!!!

    Why the fuck did you not tell this kid not to bareback...That is a horrible way to start your sex life. Please please please make him wear a condom. You may trust him so much but so many guys have slip-ups and all it takes is him having one night of cheating to catch something and then give it to you...

    I know the younger generation thinks they're immune to HIV but we're not... So please make him wrap it up.

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  32. I too am very disappointed in Mason for not telling him off about barebacking. Shame on you, Mason.

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  33. That guy asked what I had always been ashamed to ask, thanks for it and Mason, really good advice, you know the topic and are really clear to explain yourself. About the condom, that´s a fact, kiddo, do bareback only after testing and with a long time partner, pleasure does not mean risk, fuck as you want but do care about you, no one else will ever do as you should.

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