06 October 2008

Rape Reality Part 2: The Truth

The truth is I did get raped by a guy who claimed to be a Captain in the U.S. Army. And the truth is I did invite him into my home. He was attractive and he looked normal. I guess thats incredibly stupid of me to judge someones character based solely on appearances. But I trust people on day one until they lose it instead of making people earn my trust. We had a bit of small talk, he told me that he was gay, and that he had seen some of my work and kept up with my myspace page. I did come on to him. I kissed him and he kissed me back. But within a few short moments things quickly turned ugly. All the sexual abuses that I listed in my news report truthfully happened to me.

Truthfully for the first few hours of the attack I fought back and I fought back hard, I assume that since he was a big strong army guy that he thought it was going to be easy to over power me and get me under control, but I sure as hell surprised him. When he pulled out the gun it scared me shitless and I stopped fighting for a bit but then I figured I really was going to die and if that were to be the case then I'd rather go out fighting instead of being some blubbering victim.

So I started to struggle against him once more. I seriously bit a chunk of flesh out of his upper chest trying to wrestle him off of me, I also tried gouging his eyes out but every attempt I made to break free from him failed.

I was beaten and strangled to the point that I passed out numerous times during the night, each time I came to he was either fucking me or tying me up with whatever he could find. I ended up getting my wrists and ankles tied behind my back, and attached to a belt that was wrapped around my neck so that if I struggled I would end up just strangling myself.

I was screaming for help so loud that he ended up not only blindfolding me but taping my mouth shut. I almost had a helmet of duct tape covering my face and at one point I thought I was going to suffocate to death. When he noticed that I couldn't breath, he took the tape off of my nose, maybe he just wanted me to be alive and in pain while he raped me, I don't know.

The truth is, I'll admit, that my mind is pretty fucked up. I'll admit that my sexual promiscuity has put myself at risk countless times and until the other night I have been pretty lucky. I'll admit that I am a slut who has some pretty sick fantasies at times BUT this twisted fantasy was always meant to be just that, a fantasy, I never wanted it to become a reality. Just because someone is a slut who talks dirty doesn't give anyone the right to abuse that person.

The truth is that I think the rapist did call over some friends to use me once he had gotten his fill of me. By then the drugs (which I was unaware that he had injected me with at the time) had already taken affect and I was much more subdued and mellow. My muscles started to go limp, including my ass, which the gang of murderers and rapists interpreted as me wanting more cock up my hole. If I could of shit on them I would of.

The truth is that my first instinct was to yell at my neighbors after I escaped because I know they were home and I KNOW they could hear me screaming for help through the walls. AND YET LIKE MOST FUCKING AMERICANS, THEY DID NOTHING. Some people are so afraid to get involved in other peoples lives when they need it most. You always read those horror stories of kids getting raped in apartment complexes where the neighbors hear it but don't call the cops.. then act all shocked when they find out exactly what was going on... I was sickened to hear that and ENRAGED when it happened to me.

The truth is the police were eventually called. Six of them showed up, Four of them were ex-military, and all of them were assholes. The FIRST thing they asked was, "Have you been doing any illegal substances or drinking?" and keep in mind they knew why they were called over.

I said no.

My blood was pumping, mind racing,I was going nuts, and I had no idea that the guy had squirted GHB into my asshole. I just thought he wanted to get my insides wet, hell he shoved ice cubes up in me. I think the bastard just got off seeing me squirm in pain. As hard as it is for some of you to believe, I have NEVER done any drugs other than marijuana, which I don't consider a drug anyway. So I didn't know that the effects I was feeling was from a drug and not from getting knocked around and choked so many times.

They took my answer with a grain of salt.

They all had looks of doubt. "Come on, you love sex...and with a guy in the military, thats like a dream come true for you, just admit it you sick fagot and stop wasting our time", is what I'm sure they were thinking.

I'm not your average joe in terms of personality, I can't shut up under normal circumstances and last night I couldn't stop talking for the life of me, it might have been the drugs that were forced into my body or it might have been the sudden adrenaline rush I was feeling after I escaped, but either way I couldn't shut up, which led the cops to believe I was just a cracked out fagot that wanted it and was just freaking out.

Like some of you have said, rape victims have a hard time talking about their situation with loved ones and friends, let alone a public forum BUT FUCK THAT. I want everyone out there to know that there are some sick fucks in all types of uniforms and to be cautious. I told my neighbors, the cops, my friends, my mother, my brother, the nurses at the hospital, the lady at the front desk that asked what happened, and any body else who stared at my fucked up face. Screw being ashamed and quiet about it. I was kind of proud that I gave a guy who was almost 6'2" and probably 220 lbs a pretty good fight. AND yes I know thats pretty fucked up that a slut who just got raped is proud and I'm sure the cops were thinking the same thing.

It probably didn't help that I had copies of my porn laying all over the house when they came in to collect evidence. And it probably didn't help that I didn't follow their orders to just sit down and not to walk around to keep me from smudging any finger prints the rapist may have left behind. And I sure as hell didn't help when I made nasty comments about people in the armed forces, I was pissed off and couldn't help it. SERIOUSLY, I didn't know there was a certain way you're suppose to act after you get raped. Do they offer a rape victims etiquette class? I should probably take it. I'm surprised there aren't more insane crazy rape victims out there, because I'm seriously about to go off my rocker!

The cops were serious assholes though, while two of the investigators were busy finger printing my whole house, the other four were holding me hostage in my living room. "JUST SIT THERE SIR, WE DON'T WANT YOU CONTAMINATING EVIDENCE", one pig oinked. "Uh. I need to take a piss", I said. "Well they haven't collected evidence from the bathroom yet and you might have some of their DNA on you so you probably shouldn't do anything until we get to the hospital", the asshole in blue said. I seriously wanted to yell, "THE DNA IS IN MY ASSHOLE YOU FUCKING PIG!" But I was at least able to keep that to myself.

I kept asking them, "I'm sure you will get his DNA after my exam, why on earth do you need to take all my stuff?" to which they replied "We just just have to"... "We just have to?" thats not a very good reason. On top of that they took things that had nothing to do with the case, like my main computer, my cell phone, and my clothes, the clothes that I had on when the guy came over and just random clothes on the floor. One pig told me that once the stuff becomes evidence, I'd probably never get them back, and the stupid fucking piece of shit chuckled, like it was funny.

Two of the cops were talking about rough sex with their wives and how they have to pin them down... not saying they're rapists.. just saying that talking about rough sex at a rape scene.... WOW... seriously?

After they collected my statement and "evidence" and they were finally done belittling me they handed me a card with a case number on the back, "Call if you want to press charges", they said - the number on the front was the number for the traffic violations office. WOW THEY REALLY DO CARE.

Then they took me to the shittiest hospital in the city, where I got to wait, then wait some more, and wait some more. Then finally after 5 hours of waiting along side hobo's, hookers, and heroine addicts I was finally put in a room where I got to wait another hour for a fucking rape kit, a medical exam that took about 15 minutes to complete. And just to put icing on the cake was handed a medical bill for the exam, $100. LOVELY.

When I finally got home I found my walls, carpet, and furniture covered in black finger print dust not to mention the drops of blood spattered across the floor. Not one of the drops of the blood looked as if they had been swabbed for samples... something I thought the police would want to match with the DNA taken from my hole. And upon further investigation I found something even more startling... the tape and papers used to collect finger prints.. all of it containing the assholes finger prints were crumpled up and thrown into my trash can.

For those of you who seem to be genuinely worried about me, don't be, I'll be fine, I was already pretty messed up before this so maybe this will make me less of a stupid slut. Maybe this will get me to quit doing porn and try incredibly hard at a normal lifestyle.

I checked myself into a hotel room because I couldn't stand to be in that house alone. It wreaked of sweat, piss, and rapist cum. I have been sitting here ever since, playing the events over and over in my head, thinking about what he did to me, trying to figure out what I should do about it, planning my revenge, and then I wrote that article. Like I said earlier, the report was written by me but the crime reported in it is fact.

I'm done trying to prove that I'm telling the truth, if you don't believe me then FUCK you and quit reading my blog. LIKE RIGHT NOW. JUST CLICK THE X. I usually welcome people's criticisms and differing opinions.. but this isn't about your opinion... its about my health and well-being. I WRITE BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. Is that pathetic to you??? THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF!

For those of you who are truly my fans and friends, please excuse my erratic behavior. I'm a mess right now.

I've been writing and talking about it to whoever will listen, hoping to write and talk about it so much that I have nothing left to say about it and can hopefully move on.

112 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for what happened to you and for the way that the police treated you after you survived all that. I wish I could say they were just backwards and things would be different elsewhere, but rape is highly stigmatized and rarely prosecuted in this country. Best of luck with your mental/physical/emotional healing process. I wish I could say its easy, but it wasn't for me. However, having a great support system of friends helps a lot...so I hope you have that. And remember, you are not alone. :)

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  2. hey man, ur not a bad person in any way.. And just because u talk about being raped doesnt mean it should happen to u... I feel so sorry for u... From reading ur blogs and all u seem like a great guy.. And ur not a whore, per say... I dnt kare what any1 says if every1 could be a porn start they would. Ur just a gay porn star and ur great with what u do... So dnt listen to every1 there just jelous of u... All u need are family, friends, and knowing that u have fans out there who not only are with u but behind u... So get better and dnt stop being who u are just b/c there are a few who cnt be u... my thoughts are with u always

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  3. thats so true the same thing happend when 6 guys beat the shit outta me there were hundreds of people around and no one called the cops when i came to they had broken my phone and no one would let me use theres they all walked by like they dident see it I called the cops from a pay phone 2 blocks away and the cops knew who it was but the said they needed witnesses to make an arrest and no one would come forward to say they saw it so the peice of shit is still walking away knowing he got away with it america sucks!

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  4. Hey Mason:

    It's therapeutic for you to pour out your feelings, and anyone who isn't interested or convinced is an asshole for even expressing it at a time like this.

    I just wrote a blog (to your previous post) saying that you should prosecute the psychopathic sadists who did this to you. I now hear and understand why you have doubts about doing that. However, please, don't try to take personal revenge, because in this sick society, you will get wind up getting arrested for that.

    For one, I'm horrified and outraged. You have no guilt in this. Even agreeing to have consensual sex with someone doesn't entitle that person to commit battery, broom and gang rape, after binding you. The police treatment you received is sickening.

    I hope one of your "friends" on this blog or Myspace is a lawyer who can advise you and guide you pro bono. The rich can get justice more easily, because they can afford super competent attorneys.

    It doesn't help much for me to say it, but hang in there. Don't give these sadists the satisfaction of knowing that they screwed up your life. I'd also stay out of that apartment, especially since felons now know where you live. The whole thing sounds like a horror movie. My heart goes out to you, but believe that you will recover. :-)

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  5. Hey Mason,

    I think it's terrible how the cops treated you. Unfortunately in our society male rape is not seen as a serious issue. Less gets done about that than should be allowed and our system of government is too fucked up to do anything about it. Never once do you hear about male rape and many people don't even realize that it's possible.

    I think there are several ways to go about what happened. Firstly, you could hand in the wallet, try to prosecute the bastards, and then go on about your life and try to get over what happened. Secondly, you could not turn in the wallet, not prosecute(if you believe nothing will happen anyway), and just try to cope with it and move on. Lastly, you could get your revenge, like you mentioned. I doubt those fuckers would be prosecuted with the way our law officers treat male rape. So, the best thing to do would be to plan it out best you can, plan your "escape" plan if you aren't comfortable staying here, etc. Hell, if you take it in that direction then you could use it to make a drastic change to your life, where you live, and who you know.

    Best of wishes to you and good luck with what you decide. Keep us informed.

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  6. I didn't read your original post properly and I admit I couldn't manage to read this one properly either.

    A very similar thing happened to me over two decades ago and I didn't even report it - I knew that nothing good would come of it. I honestly assumed that so many years later and half the world away, attitudes have changed and that the cops might give a damn.

    It's a sad state of affairs when the victom of a crime comes to the conclusion that it's better to drop the matter than to trust that a police investigation will go anywhere. Do the police really think that someone's going to go to lengths you did over consensual sex?

    I hope that, unlike me, you do manage to identify the bastards who did this to you and exact some form of justice - just please don't take it too far. What's eaten at me for the last 20 years isn't just the event but the fact that I didn't have the balls to tell anyone about it and was unable to follow it up. Lack of any kind of closure is a real bitch, and don't let it happen to to you.

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  7. Mason,

    I have no doubt you'll get through this. And it won't be a flowery, happy path.

    But, one other thing, Mason, I know you want revenge. I want you to get revenge.

    You're not the criminal; don't let anyone make you think you are.

    But don't become one of them either. Hell, why mince words? Don't go out and kill this piece of shit, no matter how much he deserves it.

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  8. Try not to let emotions and adrenaline take control of you, Mason. Try to find some calmness and a sense of peace. Going out of your head and doing anything for vindication now that you may regret later is not going to help bring normalcy to your life.

    Just don't let what happened eat you. Not only was your body violated but your mind also. Just as you fought back physically, you have to fight back even stronger mentally.

    Stay strong, man! Keep looking until you find someone who will take what happened seriously and keep fighting.

    xo

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  9. Sooo sorry to hear that happened to you. You never really seemed like "a crazy" person or anything like that, but I spose I'm not really in any sort of position to judge. Honestly, if I've ever thought anything of you it's that you were a nice guy because of the pic comment thing if you remember that lol. Keep your chin up stud, things will get better in time.

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  10. And to douchebags that tell you "you deserved it or were asking it" I'm willing to bet a lot of them are jealous of your life; it seems pretty good at most points. Maybe they want to be a porn star or be as attractive or have other qualities that you do but can't/don't for one reason or another. If they truly did dislike you and thought such things, then why waste their time commenting your page, being your friend, watching your porn and keeping up with your blog? Something to ponder, you're a good guy in my opinion.

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  11. Im sorry to hear that happen to you. I know excatly how you feel and going through....be honest it happend to me too a few years ago i had a shattered jaw and many other injury from that from that assualt but my advice is to take it to the police and if they dont do anything threat to sue them for failer to do the job..I did and won too what i read about you it sound like you are a good guy and you are most def on the great start to heal..... I hope you move from this experence and move one someday soon i know it not easy but give it time you have support from all your friends and family as well your fans.....if you ever want to talk Find me on myspace AKA JeepyLife

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  12. Please log a complaint about your police department so your city knows what a bunch of useless ass holes they are. Just because you work in the porn industry does not give the pigs the right to ignore you and assume you asked for it all. No matter what, you are a good person who does not deserve to be treated like this by the rapists or the pig department

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  13. Mason,
    A crime against any one of us is a crime against all of us. Your job doesn't make you a whore but even "whores" deserve to be treated like human beings! No person regardless of the circumstances deserves to have done to them what those sick, twisted fucks did to you. Does a "sissy" in a pink polo shirt deserve to have the shit stomped out of him and then pissed on in the parking lot of a redneck bar for being too "faggy?" No! These are crimes of hate and should be dealt with that way, but you're right about not getting any help from law enforcement. In Oklahoma the hate crimes law doesn't cover gays so it's open season on homos who find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time up here. So, Mason, you keep blogging, yelling, screaming, doing whatever it takes to get the shit that happened to you out of your head. People who've never been through some shit like this cannot know how it fucks us up inside. You're talking for all of us now and I join you in saying to anyone out there who doesn't get it or those who don't sympothize with what you're going through, fuck 'em!

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  14. Are you receiving prophylactic HAART now, or is the horse already out of the barn?

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  15. All I can think of is Mary McCarthy's famous quip about Lilian Helman: "Everything she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'but'!"

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  16. Mason,

    Hang in there buddy...Write as much as you can if this is therapeutic for you which for most people are, don't worry about those criticisms since there the world can't just exist without them. Yeah, rape of male victims are often underestimated and thats the sad truth.

    I wish I was your nurse after that crime scene (I am an RN), I would have given you all th best care and support that I could. Looking at those pics of you all hurt and wounded breaks my heart...I hope you are getting some prophylactic medications by now.

    Take care Mason...(We) your fans love you so much and will help you recover in many ways that we can.....We are a big support system of yours!

    Hugs....Hugs....You still are gorgeous...

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  17. The thing about this alleged incident--as with any addiction, is there is always plausible deniability and finger pointing when in actuality the addict has contributed to hitting rock bottom.
    Your "article" was totally flippant and unreliable. You expect credibility, but, you ooze fantasy and a disturbed notion of what rape means.
    A victim you are not--in fact, fuck you for trivializing rape.
    Get some some help for your addiction, or, do what you do best and get fucked in the ass and shut-up.

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  18. Hey Mason,
    I am deeply sorry to hear about what happened to you. It sickens me and makes my heart hurt for you. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and I hope you find comfort in your family and friends.
    -T

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  19. Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. The process of healing will not be easy; but you will heal. I'm glad to see you still maintain your same fire and strength. Never lose that or let anyone take it from you.

    That being said, going the Batman route will not make this situation better. I guarantee you if you pursue revenge and achieve it, you will feel better; but you will not be better. Revenge is a hungry master that can devour your targets And you and everything that you love. Make the cops do their job. It's easier said than done, but you can. This guy did a horrible, disturbed and cruel thing to you; and he will probably do it to someone else. If you can find the fight in yourself, then go after this guy with all legal means to bring him and his sick pals to justice.

    But no matter what you do, take care of yourself first. As you can see you have a lot of support and love. Let this love and the love your family and friends help you heal and find the answer.

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  20. It's still a lie people. The details between this entry and the previous one are inconsistent, he first stated investigators found the wallet now he says he found it and the investigators don't have it at all. First he says Ben Taub Hospital then he says he was taken a shit hospital, Ben Taub is the best trauma centre around, says he's telling everyone including family...but is telling no one relevant that could you know assist in the situation, etc.

    He was called out on it not being in any media and is retconing the specific details in such a way that no one cares, everyones doing their job so badly, the alledged incident has no attention beyond the attention he is giving it, no one really cares....all to cover his arse on why the only reference about it is his own, why he isn't pursuing it in any of the relevant avenues.

    How is it not obvious to you all, you're being manipulated by someones mechanations.

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  21. existo is right: fuck you for trivializing rape!

    ya, it happened -- in your fucking dreams!

    next we're going to be hearing about mason's night in jail.

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  22. im so sorry for what happened i have been there about the same thing happened to me i relized we live in a fucked up world dam if you do and dam if you dont if your not this perfect person then fuck you because know one is going to do anything for you but yourself so fuck them all and god bless you

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  23. Dear The Anonymous Assholes,

    I know this post is alot for you to read, especially since all you want to do is talk shit instead of trying to make sense of my jumbled mess of a blog. And I know that you love to spit out nasty opinions before doing any real research. But let me clarify a few things for you:

    1st. BEN TAUB is a SHIT HOSPITAL. It is a county owned and operated hospital that is basically staffed by Medical students. Ben Taub is a shining example of why people don't want the government to take control of health care.

    2nd. I don't know where all this, "He is KNOWN for writing rape fantasies" bullshit is coming from, I've written ONE erotic fantasy story involving rape... ONE and it was deleted a long time ago.

    3rd. I clearly stated in this posting that the previous article is how the investigators and cops SHOULD have handled the call NOT what they actually did. As in finding the wallet.

    If you are going to try to pull apart my story and smear it as a lie then maybe you shouldn't skim through my post.

    And one last thing, go fuck yourself and die.

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  24. You will all know if it is a lie or not if he starts asking you for money again!

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  25. hey mason
    i hope you are okay
    you are lucky they did not kill you!

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  26. You didnt say it was a false article til after you were called out on it, you retconned facts you established because people called you out on them being false. At every point someones demonstrated the extreme improbability of one claim you've come out with a retcon stating it was your hope or lie and that this is the "real truth" when it's more inconsistent than the first lie. Nothing you've said has been consistent and your current behaviour is the common reaction to employed when a lie is called out. Either way you look at it you've been dishonest and sadly I think it's more delusional than manipulative on your part.

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  27. You are stronger than everyone think Mason. No one else even have the courage to tell it all.

    It'll take a long time to heal but I'm sure you have all the best people around you to help you.

    My advice for the revenge is, haunt that guy down and use all the resource you can get to get this beast in jail. I still believe justice stands on good people's side.

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  28. after this stunt you'll be lucky to get a job from hot desert knights or treasure island: '24 Hours, 24 Loads!'

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  29. Porn star or not, "slutty" or not, no one deserves that. And ironically on the same day, ten years later, that Matthew Sheppard was beaten and tied to a fence. I think it's time for a revolution.

    On a personal note, Mason, I am horrified by what has happened to you. And my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am trying to think of something to say that might comfort you, but the truth is, there is nothing like that that can be said.

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  30. and yet people still are calling mason a liar... Everyone thats calling him a lair.. Answer me just 1 quesiton.. Where u there when this happend??? IF no (which im positive is every1) then how can u say it didnt happen.. its that simple.. give him a break... and just leave him alone.. or mess with someone who doesnt have alot on there mind

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  31. I am so sorry I feel horrible that this happened to you. It has happened to me and I prayed every day it would not happen to anyone that I know or have seen. Something to help is just a great group of friends who will listen. It is not true that time heals every thing it has been 2 years and I still remeber every detail if you ever need to talk dont be afraid to call or anything. Oh and about your stuff you wont get it back well at least I never did. Well hope and love your myspace friend Rich!

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  32. Mason, don't get bothered with those anonymous jerks who has nothing good to say. They're also the cause of why rape victims are afraid to come out and speak out.

    Just fuck them.

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  33. Mason: I'm so sorry for what happened! Take it easy & calm down... Remember: "Vengeance is an entree best served cold". I'm a sex freak but doesn't mean I deserved to be raped. No one deserved that! Take care, my friend, & use these days to rest & made up your thoughts!!!

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  34. Sorry about what happened..
    All I can say is... Well shut happens.

    If you can forget it, forget it. It's better to go on with your life...

    I hope you get well soon! Hope Marcus is there to comfort you (: .

    I bet he's the only one that can make you happy.


    chao

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  35. Wow...that's kinda the first thing that comes to mind. It was very difficult for me to read this, and I am a bit emotional right now. Nobody should have to go through something like that. My sister was tied to a tree and raped and beaten by her boyfriend on Mother's Day night a couple of years ago. And I don't know everything that happened, because my parents did not want us to know all of it. But I know it was really hard for her and all of us. But things got better over time and we all pulled through, she's married now to a really nice guy and couldn't be happier. I was so upset that something like that would happen to someone I know, let alone my sister. And for a while I wished nothing but bad thoughts for him, but now... I'm kinda glad that he got arrested and put in prison for a long long time. It's so much better knowing his life is so fucked up right now, then not having a life. So Mason, you don't know me, I think I've seen you around before, but I truly think you should take him down legally. It would be so rewarding knowing that is future is screwed and he has to live with that. And definitely turn in the wallet ASAP before too much time passes. Anywho, be strong and turn to your family and friends right now cause that is what they are here for, especially during times like these. I hope those guys get what they deserve. Keep us all posted and all that jazz on you and whatnot. Take care. ~david

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  36. I am just still in a bit of a state of shock from reading your posts. I just got back in town and a friend told me to check your blog.

    There really isn't nothing I can say to make anything change, but just know that I like and have always liked you because you are such a sweet guy. I mean you were nice enough to hang out with me at a library in Chicago after all.

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  37. Hey Mason, nothing i can say will make anything easier or go away. I was a raped at the age of 16 at knife point. I'm now 37 and my parents don't even know it happen and it happen in their house. They were actually not home when it happen. So although mine attack wasn't brutal, i realize what you are feeling, and how angry you are. The injustice you received from the police is uncalled for. If you decide to take justice into your own hands just be careful. Remember it will not change anything that has happen. It could in turn make things worse for you. Just remember you have alot of fans and people who love you to help you through this time of need. If you would like to talk on a one on one bases please give me a call. Anytime night or day ill be more than glad just to listen. It gets better with time i promise...

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  38. Mason,

    It goes without saying that what has happened is beyond fucked up. Forget the anonymous posters and others who are negating or believe you to be lying or trivializing what has happened.

    Get tested, get some support if you don't have it, get a good lawyer and go get the bastards who did this to you legally.

    I know it is easy for me to suggest this as I didn't experience what you did nor live where you are. However, as it was stated, going vigilante won't help. If you the proof and evidence was collected even haphazardly, you have something to go on and to work with.

    Secondly, whatever one may feel about you, have to say about who you are, what you do and ultimately what you may say about yourself, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE RAPED regardless of whether you "invited" the person in to your home or they just took advantage as they did.

    That is the saddest part of this for me is that you like most rape victims think they deserved or allowed this to happen because of you. It's not true and never has been.

    I say this to you, do you and make sure that whatever it is you do that you should never fret nor feel that you can't hold your head up high.

    I don't know you nor do I need to in order for me to wish, hope, and pray that justice for you is served.

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  39. Blogger DeWayne In San Diego said...

    I sent you a private email of support and published a short news piece on the rape and assault.

    I do hope you realize the holding back by gay journos occurred because they were trying to reach you.

    When you are able and capable of talking you should answer the calls from people in the "biz" who know you and are concerned.

    Many people in Gay Porn are also fans and we are concerned.

    Just remember no matter what Some may THINK

    No one deserves to be raped.
    Ever!

    Take care Mason

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  40. I am at awh with your words, Mason. As i read them i can't help but become angery at the way you were treated; how things turned out; and what a HUGE emotional roller coaster you are on now.

    I will not say that i understand what you went through. Nor will i say that you don't have a right to be upset. My belief is that ANYONE who is harmed in the ways you were has the right to be angry and want revenge; paybacks... so forth. I just want to say that, because i care about you, not to do anything silly in your paybacks. I wouldn't want you to end up in jail for the rest of your life because you decided to "get revenge"

    Mason i KNOW that isn't you. I know it hurts Mason...I know you want to hurt him as much as he has hurt you. Baby, just remember that we love you; it's why we support everything you do. After all, your our gorgious Mason!!!

    Keep in touch.

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  41. Hey u were victimised and forced to do something you didn't want to. You need to follow up on this and not let it go. I do suggest that if the guy didn't get caught and if he does indeed follow your blogs you be careful what you say because informing the world you have his info and not letting the cops know about it may get him to go after you to protect himself.

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  42. i really feel sorry for u, but im not gonna be feel pity, i just want to tell u something, YOU ARE A PORNSTAR AND U NEVER KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE THAT WANT U AND DOING HIS FANTASIES OVER YOU, all am saying is keep your personal life among your truly friends instead of telling everybody, i know u wanna share ur personal life, but every action cames reaction. just next time write something else than sex and sex, that way u can interact with people/fans. it doesnt to be a sex all the time. im sorry to say this but i really care for u and try to be suspicious next time.

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  43. I hope you go to you DR asap and get tested for any STD possible. You were raped by 3 guys and I am sure that if anyone of them had something they would have no worries of passing it on to you. I only bring it up because someone I know was raped and after it was all over his rapist left him a little calling card in the form of HIV.

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  44. When All Else FailsOctober 7, 2008 at 3:54 AM

    Mason, my friend, I really hate to say this because I know it will spark anger in you and that you will probably lash out against this post because of it, but I think you need to seriously look in the mirror, evaluate where you are right now, drop to your knees for once for something other than cock and pray your head off to Jesus Christ. Ask him to save you and to please, please do it now. I fear this life you are leading is going to lead to something much worse than rape.

    Alcoholics, drug addicts and people who have reached the most low points in life have reached out to Him and found peace. You my friend should excercise those good Southern roots of yours and reach out with all your might to the man upstairs.

    As for whether all this is true or not is really not relevant at this point. If it is true, or if it isn't, in both circumstances the only real hope for you right now is the love and peace one can only find in a higher power. I emplore you to seek that higher power, pray for that inner peace, accept something other than yourself as the guiding force in your life and leave your life in the hands of Christ.

    I am a gay man, open and proud, but not too proud to realize the overwhelming need for the peace and love only found through forgiveness. You are playing with fire my friend and you must seek a way out before you are burned.

    May God be with you.

    With love and peace and prayers.

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  45. Mason,

    Hey, write about it as much as you need to. I will be here to read your blog. Your a beautiful person and didn't deserve to be treated that way by the cops!! Don't blame yourself for what happened. Just hang in there and you will work through this difficult time.

    Just remember that you have friends out here who love you and wish you nothing but the best!

    XO

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  46. Mason--

    Just because a bunch of assholes on both sides of the law treat you like shit it no way means you are a bad person. I know what you are going through, I was raped in high school and am still in therapy for it (which I cannot believe that I am publicly acknowledging) Its scarey, but talking about it to anyone who will listen or read it is very therapuetic. We all make bad decisions, I've invited guys over for sex that three minutes into the situtation wish I hadn't, and I know you were just trying to get your wallet back so that is not that case, but, well you know what I mean.

    I'm so sorry this happened to you, I actually started crying reading this, and seeing those pictures of you all bruised and beaten are just wrenching. Take it easy for a few days, see the counselors at school THEY CAN HELP YOU! NOT EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE! There are a lot of guys who really care about you even though we have never really met you and I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers for your recovery.

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  47. I am very sorry for the troubles you are enduring and I know you are mixed with emotions. I wish you the best of luck and blessings of peace.
    If you need a friend to chat just let me know.

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  48. Hay man im like crying so hard for you becuse the same thing happend to me 11 yrs ago and till now ive never told andyone about it my mother knows about it cuz she came to the hospital after it had happend. so i know what you are dealing with and unlike the assholes that did that sit to you it was an ex of mine that had came over and he had some drinks and i had some water at the time and i had water with limon in it and so i could not tase the date rape drug in it.he had messed me up realy bad and at the doc. office the test that came back had conferamd that it was the date rape durg and i had never done and still do not do drugs.but the story goes that it does not matere know you are or what you do it can and does happen everday every hour every min someone out there in the world getts raped. BUT THE HARDEST THING FOR ME NOT IS THAT I BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW FOR 8 YRS AND I CAN NOT SEAM TO LET MY GUARD DOWN WITH ME MAN AND LET HIM HAVE ALL OF ME I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH BUT IT IS NOT EASY TO LET THAT GUARD DOWN I KNOW THAT IT IS NOT HIS FAULT HE DID NOT DO IT TO ME BUT IN TIME ITS WAS GETTING BETTER TILL ONE DAY I WAS LOOKING AROUND ON MYSPACE AND JUST OUT OF THE BLUE I PUT HIS NAME IN ON THERE AND IT PULLED HIM UP AND ALL THE FEELLING CAME RUSHING BACK TO ME THE NIGHT CAME RIGHT BACK LIKE IT WAS HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN AND I JUST LOST IT AND ME BOYFRIEND CAME HOME AND FOUND ME LIKE THAT AND I WOULD NOT EVEN LET HIM TOUCH ME I JUST SET IN A ROOM WITH NOT LIGHT ON FOR HOURS AND HOURS IT WAS LIKE IT HAD HAPEND ALL OVER AGIAN. HE WAS LATER FOUND GUILTY OF IT BUT NEVER SREVED TIME AND ONLY HAD TO MOVE TO SEATTLE WA. AND CAN NOT LIVE IN OK BUT HE CAN COME BACK HERE ANYTIME HE LIKES CAN NOT KNOW WHERE I AM AND WITH ME BEING ON MYSPACE I THINK THAT HE KNOW CUZ SOME OF THE ONES THAT HE KNOWS ON THERE ARE TRYING TO GET OON MY PAGE AND I WILL NOT LET THEM ON SO HE DOES NOT SEE ME TODAY THATS WHY THE ANGAL PIC IN ON MY PAGE MOST OF THE TIME AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY. SO MY HARET GOES OUT TO YOU AND IF ONLY I COULD GIVE YOU A HUG AND TELL YOU THAT IT TAKES TIME AND ONLY TIME BUT IT WILL HEAL ITSELF AND YOU WILL NEVER FORGET IT BUT YOU WILL NOT HITNK OF IT SO MUCH INTIME ONLY IN TIME. FOR NOW LOVE YOU AND HOPE THAT YOU ARE DOING GOOD NOW!!! PS YOU ARE NOT A SLUT YOU ARE PUT ING YOURSELF TO SCHOOL ON YOUR OWN AND THATS A GOOD THING. JUST BEAWARE OF THE GUYS THAT YOU MEET DONT BE SO TRUST WORTHY OF EVERONE!!!! LOVE EDGAR

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  49. I just read your story and I don't know what to say that everyone else on here has already said.....expect for those twisted bastards that would accuse of you lying. They are sick and have never been OR known anyone close to them that has been raped at gunpoint. Please check out this site. It has helped millions, including my best friend when she was raped at gunpoint. You're in my thoughts and prayers always!

    www.rainn.org

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  50. Mason, if as you say you have this guy's wallet in your posession, then scan all the contents and put it up on the web. If you don't feel comfortable doing that directly, then send it to someone whom you trust. And don't blame the cops for assuming that they were dealing with an escort incall going in an unplanned direction. That's what it looks like from the outside, frankly. Just charge the dude's VISA card double, plus your medical expenses and lost time. See if he challenges it. And stop badmouthing the police, the hospital, and the Army. It's not their fault, and you won't win friends and influence people that way, especially not a Harris County jury.

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  51. Your blogs are thoughtful and good. I've read them and I cannot begin to understand what you are going thru, but know this, it will get better. You have every right to get angry. Again, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Hang in there...

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  52. baby, there are no words to describe the pain i felt after reading your last 3 blog entries. speaking as someone who was also sexually assaulted, you are a lot braver than i am. i hope you can piece things together and are able to get some piece of mind.

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  53. I had eggdrop soup for breakfast.

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  54. J. David Geils,

    1st - I did not post pictures of me having sex with the blogs dealing with rape, I included pictures of my injuries not sexual pictures. Yes, I have nude and xxx pictures all over wylernation.com but not of them are included within my rape postings so I don't know where you got that idea.

    2nd - If you read this posting all the way you would of seen where I said the "rape article" was written by me and that the the actions of the cops I 'reported' were what I had hoped for but did not receive. The posted bail amount I had reported was just me making a guess of what the bail amount would be if he was arrested.

    3rd. I dont know about your police department but the one I called actually did keep me in the house while they collected evidence. IT was hours before they took me to the hospital.

    I dont know how many times I have to say this but people.. read a little more thoroughly before jumping to conclusions.

    I put alot more disclaimers in the myspace posting of this blog because I thought myspace readers needed but that blogger readers did not, I suppose I was mistaken.

    Oh and one more thing, You being a police officer does not mean you know much about my case or how it was handled... Just like porn stars, soldiers, waiters, managers, engineers, etc There are stupid people in every profession that believe they are experts at what they do. The police officers they answered my call were complete idiots and assholes and did not take me seriously.

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  55. Mason dahling why so angry,is it coz the rapist isn't there to fuck your twichy ass hole? You getting all horned up thinking about the hot time those boys gave you and now youre all frustrated coz they cant find you at the hotel youre hiding out at? Why not go home and get naked and leave the door unlocked and maybe they'll come back and give you what you're aching for.Pig!

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  56. I'm truly sorry for what you went through, my blood ran cold when I read about it. I can understand to some extent what you're going through now, I was raped by a guy I hooked up with 6 years ago and while I wasn't beaten to the extent you've been, its not the beating that really fucks you up it it.
    The fact that you talked about it pretty soon after it happened bodes well for you recovery in my opinion.
    But I would encourage you to get expert help to deal with this.
    You've got support from people who read this blog (and from people who don't), the pricks who are slagging you off just don't know what to do with this post but they'll get bored.
    Keep talking to whoever your comfortable talking to, things are going to get more fucked up before they get better but they will get better.
    As to whether you should push for prosecution, thats not something I can advise you on. It was never an option for me, I can't remember anything about the guy other than what he did.
    Nobody should pressure you either way.
    Take care of yourself.

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  57. Strawberries,just eat a whole lotta strawberries and the rapes will go away.God bless.

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  58. How big would you say the guy's dick was? As big as yours? C'mon admit it.We know you loved it.Cheers mate.

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  59. I had this happen to me just this morning.Felt good.I'm a total masochist.Don't judge me.Only God judges me.

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  60. Since you don't like 'FUCKING AMERICANS", I'd like to point out that there are planes leaving this country every hour - be on one asshole.

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  61. Fan of Mason WylerOctober 7, 2008 at 6:04 PM

    Mason ... I've poured over the comments all 68 of them that are on the page as I write this.

    Out of all of them I'd say that Drumstick put it best. If you follow the advice in that post I think you'll be much better off.

    I really feel for you. All I can do is pray for you and hope that you get the help you need.

    The whole cyberspace thing is great but it can turn ugly and also work against you. I would encourage you not to seek justice on your own, that never turns out well. No matter how justified you feel, it's totally not the right thing to do.

    I pray that you seek out the services of a mental health professional and that you find your self a very good attorney. If you have a clergy member (i.e. priest, pastor, rabbi, etc) I would encourage you to talk to them.

    As for your future in porn, that's totally up to you. While I and lots of others would love to see you continue in the business, I can certainly understand wanting to take a break and deal with this.

    Your angry and you have every right to be angry. That is part of the recovery process. Once you do all you humanly can, you have to turn the situation over to God. Trust me when I say those who attacked you will have to answer for their crime one day.

    To say that your a mess right now is an understatement. However, I'd probably be the same way. To help save you all of the comments that you have to deal with first enable comment moderation, that way if it's negative you can delete it and no one ever knows it existed. Secondly, please seriously think before you go off like a machine gun at the mouth. While it's important that you get the anger, hurt and other feelings from this ordeal out of your system, putting them on-line for the world to read, only add fuel to the fire.

    I will stay tuned and again hope & pray this works out for the best for all involved.

    Good luck & God Bless!

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  62. I really think that you should give the wallet to the police. Why should they get off easy for the pain and suffering that they put you through. Give them all the information that you can because you never know they can help you so that this does not happen to someone else.

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  63. Mason,

    I'm sorry, but I don't really know what to say. It broke my heart reading what happened to you and I just wanted to wish you well and hope you recover from all of this soon. Ignore everyone who is being negative, and do whatever it takes for you to get passed this. All of your fans love you, including me.

    xoxo
    T.

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  64. Dude,

    My heart goes out to you. I know that my saying that I wish I could help you is just words on a blog, but the feeling is behind the words and I'm sending you a good karma hug.

    I can't imagine what going on in your head, only you know that.

    But never, for a moment doubt yourself, and NEVER stop pushing the police on this matter. They may be a bunch of MACHO jerks, but they work for you and if they don't do their job, this asshole and his buddies are going wail on someone else, and if they do, that guy may not be as lucky. If you drop this, both your rapists and police win.

    Your anger is justified; don't allow it to turn you into someone that you would otherwise hate to become.

    To wrap this up, I wish you good grief through this period and my prayers that you'll heal as much as possible. May you find joy in the sunlight, peace when you rest at night.

    All the love possible,

    Another male on male rape survivor

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  65. OMG. I am so sorry!

    I read what happened to you and was horrified that such an atrocity happened to one of my fave stars.

    I hope you get justice in whatever way brings you comfort.

    You are in my prayers.

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  66. Well, I sincerely hope you can find peace and put all this behind you. I read about this on a gay news site and I was compelled to read what you had to say. Most of what you have to say is remarkably lucid and even-handed for what you've just gone through. I hope you find what you need to help you get through this. It's not easy to get through something like this, but stay strong and keep talking. It's a good sign. Stay on that road.

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  67. Don't lose sight of the fact that you're pretty special. Not for what you do, but for who you are and the open and honest manner you share your life. The perpetrators are the guilty ones, not you.

    What you do from this point is your own choice. You'll get lots of advice over what you should do. I would encourage you to view that advice as evidence of support and not necessarily gospel. Only you know what is right for you. Many of your fans will support you no matter what.

    Just please don't lose sight of what makes you special, not to the adult entertainment industry, but to those of us who follow your postings and life experiences...those of us who see someone whose issues we can identify with.

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  68. I'm really sorry for what happened to you; its amazing how shitty those police guys behaved & they're here to protect us (YEAH RIGHT!!!), wyler i hope u get well and as u said this might help you turn around ur life in a more safe manner; TAKE CARE!

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  69. I have never been more outraged in my entire life after reading the way those police officers treated you. Please please please file a complaint. They need to be held accountable for their actions. Rape is rape. It doesn't matter who you are. My heart goes out to you.

    xx

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  70. Mason, those guys are seriously fucktards. Everyone has to do things to survive and your choice in work is something you shouldn't have been ashamed of. Those fucken cops and that fucken military guy are fucked up. They always talk about gays and how they hate them, but in the end its them who wants to shove their fucken junk in our asses and them also wanting to get our junk in their asses. Dont let them win. Like Margret Cho said ... this is the time when you

    SWOOP DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL .. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THE BETTER PERSON ...

    seriously I feel like they won't find him only because they don't want to .. because they think people like us don't need their help.

    I hope your not all traumatized by it ...

    you should post his myspace and pics so we can post them around and send your news to any place that would help and let it be know that it was fucken him who did that shit. I seriously hopes he has kids, so they can see what big of a fucken jerk he really is.

    anyways ... were here for u ...
    fuck the haters they can talk all you want !

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  71. I hope the same thing happens to that fucker in prison. I think you should absolutely press charges. Ridiculous.

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  72. Hi Mason,

    I believe your story, and it does disgust me that someone would do that. I don't think you photoshopped pictures of yourself to make it look real, but I believe the pictures are real. Don't put all the men in uniform in one basket, as we're not all that way. Most of us have to go through all kinds of background and psychological tests to be where we are, although I'm sure a few can slip through the cracks.

    As for his wallet, I would turn it in. However, maybe you should copy the contents of it in case nothing is done. Don't handle the case on your own, as you could be Bubba's bitch in jail, and then you would have more stories to write (that was in humor to hopefully get a chuckle out of you :).

    Anyways, take care and cheer up. You're probably not religious, but I'll say a little prayer for you tonight before I go to sleep at my fire station. Hopefully all your tests come up negative for you also.

    -Dave

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  73. I'm just glad you're still alive. I love you.

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  74. Like others have said on here, you might want to consider calling a crisis center or a civil rights attorney who will be happy to press charges against the police department.

    If you are seriously seeking "revenge" on your own, I would advise against it, especially if these guys have guns, etc.

    Be thankful, as I'm sure you are, that you are ALIVE, first and foremost. You have your whole life in front of you and obviously a lot of people, even strangers, who support and care about you.

    Don't do anything crazy...call a lawyer or a crisis center.

    -Zach

    P.S. These fucked up "soldiers" are yet another example of the wide ranging disastrous effects of the Iraq war.

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  75. Hey Mason,

    There are so many supporting you on this website. However, it's saddening to hear that you seem to be doing this alone. I can feel a small sense in your entries that you want some closure....or payback.

    I've done this before...and it's worth the fun! If you post the guys address...from his wallet, his ATM/credit card, there are some people here who would love to have some fun for you. At least, send out his home address (if not his real name), and we can barrage him with 1) nasty letters, 2) shit in a box, and/or 3) a package of white flour "labeled" anthrax.

    Mason, take care of yourself. I wasn't a follower of your blog and heard about this news from someone else. You need to know that the many readers on this site want to do something to this douchebag.

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  76. I am so sorry. After being sexually assaulted three times in my own life I know how much of a mess you can be after something so traumatic. However I know that you will get through this and survive in spite of all those assholes tried to do to you. Please if you need it, get help and talk to people who will understand. I know that as a fan I can say we appreciate you confiding in us but if you need to, please talk to a professional. As one who went through it I know that can help. Just know that we as fans truly do love respect and support you...not just because we love your movies but because we have come to love you as a person. You truly are strong and amazing and, as Sara said, you are not alone. *gentle hug*

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  77. I am so sorry about what happened to you and for the treatment you got by the police. I hope they catch this guy, and I hope you press charges. If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message on myspace: www.myspace.com/lovemesomedali. May you find the peace and closure you deserve.

    Sincerely,
    Jeff

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  78. Oh you sexy boy, I feel terrible for you. I have put myself in riskier situations than you, and am thankful that your story has opened my eyes as to what could have happened to me. Hopefully it'll prevent me from making the same mistakes.

    Please be careful on your path of revenge. If he knows who you are, and knows you have his wallet that could be trouble. I am not a fan of the police either, but they may be your best bet.

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  79. I`m so sorry to hear about that tragedy,Mason!
    Kudos to you for having the courage to share this with us!
    Like my other fellow readers here said You are not alone.

    Hugs

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  80. I don't know you by any other means that your work I've seen. You seem like a pretty nice guy. What happened to you is disgusting and unacceptable. The man who did that is sick and you should absolutely press charges for rape, kidnapping, battery, and anything else you can think of.

    You know, you've obviously made a bunch of movies about different types of sexual fantasies and it is sick that this man used that as a reason to abuse you. I don't understand how someone cannot separate the things you/we do for fantasy and the fact that non-consensual rape and abuse is a crime, is a horrible thing to do.

    I hope in the end you are ok. Like I said, I don't know you personally but I am reaching out to you if you'd like to communicate. You don't deserve any of what happened to you. My thoughts are with you. I hope you are OK in the end.

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  81. Dude I'm so sorry to hear the shit you've just been through. I can't believe it. Even though we don't know each other I've been a big fan of yours for a long time and I feel like it's happened to one of my own friends.
    I commend you even more for telling us about it.
    I'm sure you'll pull through this and you've always got us to talk to.

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  82. bartleby scrivenerOctober 8, 2008 at 5:15 AM

    Get a lawyer and press charges. And find a good counselor to help you work through this.

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  83. you people are so gullible. who gets raped them blogs about it. looking at those pics im sure get got a beating. but why would anyone be on line blogging about this just days later. its sad people will believe anything on the internet.

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  84. Never let the rapist make you feel bad about yourself or that you deserved it. No one deserves to be raped. Even if you fantasized about it, no one deserves it. If we were friends in real life and somehow the wallet just fell to the floor and I picked it up and saw who it was and the address, I wouldn't mind going to jail for ya ;-) You're a nice guy. You have a friend here in Providence, Rhode Island.

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  85. Im in the UK, Al I can say is I wish you well and hope you are coping your a great guy from what I have read in you blog. Good luck

    John

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  86. Hi Mason,

    First of all, my condolences for your ordeal. I'm really very sorry for what you've been through.

    However, you HAVE to turn in the wallet. It's the only way they're ever going to catch the bastard and his friends.

    Time is really important in this so the faster you turn in the wallet the better their chances are of getting him.

    In the meantime, hang in there. :(

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  87. I really sorry abouut what happened(my first sexual encounter was actually a rape when I was 17 and he 32) U know the most important thing is that don't change who u r,there r a lot of sick people,who have this idiotic concept of good and bad(mostly from a catholic-christian point of view) who think that people actually deserve things,for acting certain way,dressing in certain way or do certain jobs,That is false never listen to that people,cause people who think that way is as sick as people who rape or kill other people.
    If u want to keep it private or quit porn,it's ok but do it because of u not because somebody told u that u r a whor and u deserved it.
    They may already have the pleasure of abuse of u, don't give they(they cause is not just the rapist,is all the conservative people who think that a rape is justified for work in porn,dress in a provocative way or any other random reason...all that people r also potential criminals and part of the problem)...so don't give they the pleasure of make u change who u r

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  88. stay strong Mason!

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  89. hey buddy. i am so sorry to hear what happened to you and how shockingly horrible the police were to you afterward. i also apologize on behalf of the numerous people involved in the US Army who aren't rapists. my heart really does hurt for you man. if there's anything at all that i can do, please let me know. even if it's just being there for you to vent to.

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  90. that's crazy fucked up. you fucking rule for calling the cops, even though the justice system works against good queer people. stay strong!

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  91. Mason, OUT the fucker! You have two things in your favor...your popularity and his wallet. Every gay mag and paper in the country will welcome your story, especially if it comes with xerox copies of all his ID.
    Dan White committed suicide after the publicity of his trial for killing Harvey Milk. Let the world know EVERYTHING about this fucker.

    You have the power!!

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  92. Original_SinsualityOctober 8, 2008 at 2:47 PM

    I'm a chubby, quiet kinda guy who in real life you would not take a second look at - and I instinctually stay away from guys like you 'cause I know we're in totally different ball games.

    What I realise now is that's total, camped-out bullshit. Why? Because we are a community. Because we are brothers and I stick by you, dude!

    You DID NOT DESERVE what happened to you. No one deserves to be raped. Stay strong and do not rest until the men who did this to you are held accountable for their actions and are brought to justice. Rape is not OK.

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  93. WOW. I usually don't comment to most blogs. But this one is different. I can tell that most people that left you comments mean well. I am just amazed that your still alive and able to talk about what happen to you. It is sad that things were handled so poorly. What goes around will come around. I am a firm believer in that! Time heals all wounds. I am just glad to hear that you are able to talk about this and make it known so that other people can be aware and know that this can happen to anyone! I hope you feel better soon! Best of luck and wishes! My heart goes out to you!

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  94. Mason

    I can't imagine what you are going through at the moment. No one deserves to go through what you have been through. Then to be treated as badly by the people sent to supposedly help.

    You are the victim. You did NOT bring it upon yourself. He is the criminal not you

    It still escapes me, the reason of mans' inhumanity to one fellow man.

    You have brought a lot of pleasure to a lot of people. Being a porn star and actually liking what you do, does not make you a bad person or a slut

    My heart felt feeling go out to you at this time. Time is a great healer and I hope it will help you in the near and distant future.

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  95. Slut, porn star... whatever. First of all you are a human beeing and that’s how u should be treated by everyone. I’m really sorry that you had to go through this, and I hope you will find the strenght to get over this mess.
    Also, I want to say something for the people that are posting stupid comments here – do you ever experimentated the feeling that you are gonna dye the next moments, the panic and the desperate need for help? Before making a stupid comment think about this.
    Good luck with whatever you decide to do Mason,
    take care,
    Vlad

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  96. Just want to say I'm sorry for what you went through and are going through. I hope you get justice. And unfortunately, we can't expect cops or people on the net to be nice or even decent. I hate cops, man. Karma will come back around for you.

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  97. I love you Mason. So so sorry for what's happened, I know they'll get what's coming to them, the sorry bastards.

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  98. Mason, I've never seen or heard of you. I stumbled across this through some blogs. I felt compelled to write:

    1. It's admirable how you are talking about this. I've experienced trauma that almost ended my life and left me with years of therapy. I'm better now but I learned that there's something profound and healing about repeatedly telling your story.

    2. I'm enraged (but not surprised) to hear how the police officers treated you and handled your case. You might remind them that it was officers like them that returned one of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims to him, leading to his murder, rather than take the situation seriously. The police need to approach every situation as if it was serious until proven otherwise and not the reverse. It is their job to "serve and protect". We fucking pay their salaries!

    3. The predators that victimized you need to be stopped. This behavior has been researched and documented over and over and it leads to escalation, i.e. murder. Someone who crosses that line into criminal behavior almost always stays on that side. They need to engage in riskier behavior each time to feel the rush they crave. Catching this guy could save several men's lives.

    I wish you well. I can see that you are a very strong person. Hang in there. My therapist once told me that the healing from trauma is like crossing the Alps seeking freedom; it's hard and takes a long time, but it can be done. It's important to have people with you on that journey.

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  99. sorry to hear what happened. I was raped back in 2003 also...and the whole process with the police was a nightmare but overall, i was able to make it through.
    In another point....WHY didn't you listen to your inner voice?? you have to take responsability for what happen on your bad judgement....and for allowing your ego to get in the way of your inner voice. In the other hand..NO ONE DESERVES to be raped. THAT guy should pay for what he did....

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  100. Hi Mason,

    I read about your incidence from GAYVN news. It described the details, but nothing about you retained a counsel. Have you got a lawyer to represent you?

    Pat

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  101. Once they hit you hard, the pain is done.
    You are bleeding and they are free.
    It´s terrible because You would never do it to anyone, so you have to go over it some how.
    The feelling of HATE is very dangerous and mekes us allways UNHAPPY.
    It happened to me, at last I new who it was and took him to trail.
    It´s really hard. I feel sad about it. Francesc .Barcelona.Spain.

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  102. Dude: I really sorry for what had happened to you. I'm so far from home, currently I'm living in Europe, but it makes me sick to know that Americans didn't do anything for someone screaming for help. Please get well soon and do not try to get revenge, you're smarter and cutest than all that bunch of morons.
    Strong hug dude,

    Chris

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  103. I am terribly sorry for what happened to you. With that being said, and I'm probably being picky here, don't be so hard on our troops. I'm a pretty liberal guy, I also think the Iraq war was bullshit, but I also respect the work they do. The Iraq vets that raped you are absolute dog shit. Hopefully, they will get what they deserve. Just don't hold this against our troops. I wish you the very best and a speedy recovery.

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  104. I´ve never see a movie from you, and I´ve nerver hear about you before. I´m from Argentina, I read the news in a website here (www.sentidog.com) and I just want to say how sorry I am that this kind of animal do things like this.
    I send you a big hugh man. I hope this will be soon a bad memory for you, and a real big punish for this asshole.
    Keep near your friends.
    From Argentina. Mauricio.

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  105. Hey man, there are people out there who need to hear your story. Many who are in the same industry whose crimes go unreported. I agree with what one of your posters said: Get counseling thru a rape crisis center, get a lawyer and sue the bastard the crisis center can help you there, even if you lose the Army will investigate him afterall, the armed forces don't like gays in their fold and what he did was have "gay sex". You have every right to feel the way you do; fuck the rest of those who criticized you...as if...they were without sin. Get tested for sure; who knows what other holes this prick has poked. Seek the help of the Human right's campaign for ways to help victims like yourself. Let's face it you and your boyfriend are victims and need all the support you can get right now. Better yet...you are rape survivors because you escaped. Thank God. I've never seen any of your movies; you're a friend on myspace that's how I know you, but I still feel that what happened to you should never had happened. No is NO and MEANS NO in any language and in any intent no matter how it is said...inflection, tone, enunciation, or otherwise. Hope you and your better half get better. Love you both. ragz

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  106. I sometimes find I'm drifting
    Through this life without effect;
    I often wonder if I'm truly
    Worth what I've been blessed.

    I search through days that have been hard,
    To try to understand,
    The many trials that I have known,
    The life that I have had.

    You see me in my daily grind,
    So confident and strong;
    Yet when I am alone, I question
    Just where I belong.

    I often try too hard I find,
    To analyze and guess,
    To scrutinize, investigate
    My life I will confess.

    For somewhere deeper, there must be
    Some meaning to this life,
    Some way to make a difference,
    Give a reason for this strife.

    Is there some hidden meaning?
    Some agenda to be found?
    A greater purpose waiting
    If I care to hang around?

    It teases and it taunts me,
    Always slightly out of sight;
    A hazy vision out of reach,
    Where darkness hides the light.

    I struggle to bring clarity
    To what awaits me there,
    And yet this weak illusion
    Always fades before my stare.

    It seems the harder that I try,
    To focus through the haze,
    Just serves to add more questions,
    Through my endless, tired gaze.

    Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
    To understand it all,
    For can we ever truly know
    Just what we have in store?

    Each incident, each moment passed,
    Just adds upon the next,
    But in the end, will I find truth ...
    Or will I be perplexed?

    Perhaps I make it harder
    Than it has to be sometimes,
    But will my searching bring to me
    My meaning over time?

    Or will it leave me broken,
    And confused as I feel now,
    While questions bring no solitude,
    To this, my wrinkled brow.

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  107. I am truly sorry to hear about you and your Bf getting raped. I can understand what you two went threw because i was raped and sexually abused by my father when i was a kid and i understand the pain and suffering that you two must have went threw. For those of you who say he is lying rape is nothing to joke about and i don't know any normal and good person who would lie about being raped. Also i see that you to are coming to Houston and i would like to officially welcome you two to Houston and i hop u can settle in to a normal like here out side of all the drama from the resent events. Once again i would like to say that i am sorry that you two were raped and though i don't remember all of it manly just flashes and feelings if you two ever feel you two would ever need to talk my contact information is on my profile

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  108. No one should have to go through this, but you shouldn't be surprised that it happened. Considering the numerous random sexual partners you and your husband decide to play with, sooner or later you're going to get into a situation like this. Perhaps you and your husband should consider whether it is worth it. You may not be so lucky next time.

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  109. Ow My! This is so sad. Mason what happend to you should never happen to anyone. Dont beat yourself up over it. These things happen....Saddly!!!! Just now that even if the fucking police dont do a god dam thing these rapist fucking pigs will fucking burn in hell. They will live there daily lives knowing in the back of there minds that what they did was wrong and they might not care but it will eat them inside and karma will come around OWWWWW IT WILL COME AROUND 10 FOLD!!! And its going to get them real good!!! Once again im so sorry for what has happened to you. Tears run down my cheek and not just for you but for every innocent person that has been a victim of rape. Be strong Mason for You and The Many MANY OTHER RAPE VICTIMS Much Love<3 -Alex

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  110. How are you doing now? Has any progress been made in the case?

    You have courage. Thank you for coming forward and speaking up. Be proud of yourself for coming forward and telling the police. You did what you could and told the truth. Now it's up to the police to take this seriously and arrest the violent criminal who materminded this. Did you call Internal Affairs and let them know how the police treated you?

    This person raped you and if he gets away with it, he will rape others. It is important that the police find and prosecute this person. You came forward, you did your part & now they have to step forward and do their job.

    As for me on the otherhand, I wasn't as strong as you. Another writer wrote, "What's eaten at me for the last 20 years isn't just the event but the fact that I didn't have the balls to tell anyone about it and was unable to follow it up. Lack of any kind of closure is a real bitch, and don't let it happen to to you." and he took the words out of my mouth.

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  111. I'm from the other side of the world and I have watched some of your videos. This thing that happened to you is terrible and makes me want to quit watching videos for a while. Sometimes we forget that the other side of fantasy is a nightmare (hopin you get my meaning). Hope you've moved on by now. That which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

    Just to share. I'm a gay guy and I was sexually abused as well. My family doesn't know because I know that if I told them, they won't be able to handle it well. So, basically, the guy got away with it. It was years ago so I think I moved on.

    Anyway, hope you're doing well. That's all.

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