08 October 2008

Rape Reality Part 3: The Closing Statement

Why did I want to cover up certain facts you might ask. Well I didn't want people knowing that my boyfriend was involved, well more like he didn't want people knowing. He had the reaction that most of you think I should of had. And I tried my best to appease him.

You know what I mean, The whole being too ashamed and destroyed to talk about it with friends, family, and much less strangers. The kind of rape victim that doesn't really want people to know that they got raped and has a sudden sense of growing paranoia that it will happen again and is deathly afraid of another rapist finding them. And God forbid a rape victim ever blog about it and show pictures of the injuries. Yes, I know, that's how most rape victims I see on TV act and thats how my boyfriend reacted to it. Which is much more understandable then the way I have reacted. But what can I do but be me.

Still don't believe me? Well that's OK, it's not really you that I am worried about proving myself to. I was able to talk with most of the major gay blogs and gay porn news magazines. And I gave them the personal information needed to confirm my attack with the Dallas Police Department. And to be quite honest, in the gay community, they are the only ones that need to believe me. Be sure to check out the latest GAYVN Article where the author was able to confirm with the police.

Why did I write about it at all? Well because I enjoy writing and I enjoy letting people read about my world. Yes of course I love getting attention and yes I love making money doing what I enjoy. If someone handed me a $100 bill and said, "Here I want you to have this just because I like you, no strings attached." I sure as hell wouldn't say no... Please do not twist my words around and say that I am a cheap prostitute that guys could fuck for $100, because that is NOT what I am saying. I am just saying that I admtt that I love the fact that people read what I write and I appreciate the guys who make deposits into BankWylerNation, I fess up to the fact that I wanted an easy way to pay for school, I'm lazy when it comes to 9 to 5 mainstream work. But all of this has nothing to do with why I wrote about the rape.

I seriously just wanted to write about it and let people know what was going on with me. I knew some people might recognize me when I was out running errands. I knew people were going to wonder about my bruises. I just thought I'd beat them to the punch (bad choice of words?).

I also know that a few friends of mine look forward to my updates. And before this past week my updates have been very inconsistent, I would write one blog and then take another month to write another. The thing is my life, outside of the porn world, is pretty boring, and writing wise, I am only able to write what I know. As inhuman as this sounds, me getting raped was like my cure for writers block. It gave me something to talk about. Something I thought was worthwhile and that some people could really relate to.

I agree that the way I went about telling people I got raped was probably not the best way to go about it, turning it into a customized news article, changing details instead of just leaving them out. I just have an affinity for being as descriptive as possible... but hell its my rape case, not yours, and I should be able to say whatever I want to say about it.

I also agree that I don't think most normal people would be sitting around blogging about it to the world and showing pictures of their injuries. But I think we can all agree that its safe to say that I am nowhere near normal.

Remember the previous posting I made about how my sex drive is off the charts and its causing problems in my love life? Well this may be another mistake to say this but just barely 24 hours after getting raped, I was actually horny. I would think that is absolutely not normal for a rape victim but I could be wrong.

I know this may sound crazy, but I'm actually not traumatized from this experience, although I could have a mental break down later on in life. I'm just angry, I'm angry at the fucker who raped me, angry at the police officers who didn't care, angry at the hospital who charged me for a rape kit, and angry at people who either didn't believe or said I deserved it and/or wanted it.

And seriously, no joke, they made me pay for the rape kit... I know alot of you out there say that Texas has funds for rape kits, well I didn't get those funds. You are only an expert on your own life, you are no experts on my life or the circumstances I have been in. So please don't assume that because you have a certain job, or a degree in whatever field, or that you have been raped yourself, that you know what my story is suppose to sound like for it to be true.

I of course will not publish every detail of this case, I will not reveal what information I do or do not have to the public, there shouldn't be a need to. Some people think they know everything, don't ask questions for the sake of better understanding, don't think before they speak... some people do not have the ability to think that everybody is different and there for will react to certain events in different ways, and to those people.... Would you seriously, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, stop following my life, stop reading what I have to say, stop reading what is reported about me, just forget that I ever existed, and STOP posting shit about me.

Honestly, I can't believe I went through all this effort just to prove myself. But I love my job and I had to make sure that the studios I work with all know that I wasn't lying about getting raped and that this wasn't a publicity stunt gone awry.

Again you can read the article and my interview at

59 comments:

  1. Y are you having to defend youself? thats bullshit

    ReplyDelete
  2. its sad that just because you're a porn star and just because you may enjoy sex that means u can't be a victim of rape. i hate it for u man! i CANNOT imagine what ur goin thru. my prayers continue to be with u.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mason,we trust you!You don`t need to defend yourself.
    May the stupid assholes go fuck themselves.
    God,as if you don`t have enough troubles now and you even have to give the stupid assholes proofs.
    Let them go and fuck themselves!!

    Big hug

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree you say it happened end of story. why should you have too defend yourself to a bunch of strangers on the internet. more so why care what these people think..

    ReplyDelete
  5. i just wanted to take a moment and let you know that i've been following your blogs, and after recently escaping from a severely abusive relationship(which left me with a few permanent scars and the whole upper level of my teeth broken in some cases completely off) i offer full compassion and sympathy, and i think it's outrageous(in the bad way)that you're having to defend yourself just because of being gay, and/or being in the adult film industry. people have no understanding anymore.but my thoughts and my prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hope you send those bastards to hell.


    Ps your license is expired lol
    Cute photo though.

    And cool blu-ray disc.

    ReplyDelete
  7. bartleby scrivenerOctober 8, 2008 at 2:57 PM

    Mason, like most of the readers of your blog, I don't know you and I don't pretend to know you, and my opinions about the choices you've made in your life really don't have any import on what has happened and what you're going through, BUT I think Kellin is right: you don't have to defend yourself here. Talk to a lawyer. Take this to court. Pay no attention to what anyone on here says: even if they claim to be lawyers they should not be offering anonymous legal advice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. bartleby scrivenerOctober 8, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    Uh, and Mason, I'm sure a good lawyer is also going to advise you to take down the stuff about the rape you've put on this blog. As emotionally moving and honest as it is, you're giving plenty of ammunition to the guys you're going to be prosecuting in court.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hang in there buddy and know that there are people out there who are rooting for you and fully support you. You're a human being and a strong man who will make it through this. Its unimaginable what has happened to you but you're obviously a strong person who WILL make it through even stronger. God bless you bud. - JJ

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm shocked that a few ass holes are saying it's a lie or a hoax. You don't have to defend yourself. I can't put in words how I feel for you guy. It may take time to heal and get over this but you will. My thoughts and my prayers are with you too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. sue their asses, your case is not being taken seriously, take it court not just for you, but for future gay porn star victims.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Mason,
    I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry about what happened to you. I wish for you all the strength and love that you may need to get pass this difficult time. I really hope that the people responsible for this atrocity are brought to justice.
    Like some people here have said I don't pretend to know you, but for what it is worth, I think you rock! and deserve as much respect as anyone else.
    All the best energy for you! My prayers are with you.

    Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bro:

    What you need now is unconditional support. Duh! What don't people get about supporting a victim of violent assault...sexual and physical. Otherwise, who needs "friends."

    Did the rocket scientists at the hospital find traces of wood (from the broomstick) in your anus? They should have, and it is another important element of proof.

    What you don't need now are doubts, recrimination, or preaching. I'm a bit shocked that you have got such brutal comments from people who are supposed to be friends. Yes, most of your fans are good, but the bad apples spoil it. That is why I write anonymously. I applaud the fact that you blacked out your personal information.

    What could help is compiling a daily mental list of your gifts: handsomer than most, better body than most, superior intelligence, ability to write extremely well, and a passion for social justice. Your gifts outweigh your current wounds, all be they deep. The people who did this to you are miserable and always will be. You will be happy and successful. Never doubt that. I hope this helps cheer you up.

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't think the pig's police report gives any justice to what you described. Time to post the ass holes driver's license so some people can go after them

    ReplyDelete
  15. It isn't rape when you're a whore.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey man, i hope ure alright!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You can't rape the willing.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mason I believ you and I am defending you at JUB ..I left you a message there i hope you can find some time to read it ..I wish i could take all of this away and make it as if it never happen..you are in my thoughts..icaus725...Bill

    ReplyDelete
  19. At night when you´re going to sleep, be sure that we´ll all be thinking of you and praying for you.
    You are the victim here and you should never ever let nothing distort the truth on your mind. It´s amazingly sad what a person can say... but remember you have a lot of love from your relates and your friends... including this one from Brazil.
    Let all the forces of the universe fullfill your spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a slut! Still horny after you were raped? I bet you jack off to it! You totally are a piece of trash. It's really classy that you did an interview with a porn mag to deal with this. Keep on escorting buddy and making those videos. You never know when you'll have to pay for a rape kit again. And you wonder why the police treated you the way they did? I hope it happens to you again.

    ReplyDelete
  21. When are you going to do a bondage video? Or a gangbang?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Man I am really sorry that you had to do all this just to prove yourself. Honestly I wouldn't have given the assholes the pleasure. Who give a fuck what people say. The people that know you, know whats going on. Hope your starting to cheer up. Remember if you need to talk i am here

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm so sorry about everything that has happend. I fear you will probably have to move permantely. It was easy to find the original Offense Report; figure out your real name from your license and then take the beat number and offense area to get the area you live. Plug that into the white pages and you get your exact location. Don't give out anymore info.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Don't let this experience keep you from being a porn star.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Here's my advice. Do a military themed video where you bottom under bondage. It would get a lot of press and you could reenact your experience for the cameras. You could make a lot of fans happy to see you have humor and shown that you've moved on. Just try and get over it by doing under your terms this time. I'm sure such a significant sexual experience should be captured for yourself and more importantly your fans.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Keep spreading your legs Mason! We love you!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Look on the bright side: he was cute.

    ReplyDelete
  28. bless you.
    i think your so strong.
    i would be a mess, your spirit is so admirable.
    i hope everything is ok with you now.

    take care
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  29. When are you going to do a bareback video?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I think writing is great; its very cathartic.

    Just remember that anger is one of the first steps of grieving. Please take care of yourself and do nice things for yourself. You will be in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Mason,
    I'm really sorry you're having to deal with the rape, as well as all this shit on top of it. For the most part our society is fucked because it is easier to believe that people want it than to believe that we can all be victims of rape. Keep up the good fight to let people know what really happens in this world.
    Jim

    ReplyDelete
  32. first and foremost let me offer my utmost sympathy for you and my blessings that you'll recover. i personally dont really know too much about you but it shouldnt matter because rape is rape. and it should be dealt with by the proper authorities. you tried that and they took it like a fucking joke. rape is not a fucking joke and those fucking swine should rot in the lowest pits in hell for all eternity. and like you said all those other fucking bastards who doubt you can FUCK. OFF. they too can rot with those fucking pigs. and as for the bastards who did this to you, they should be dealt with as follows: throats should be slit, ribs broken with iron rods,eyes gouged out with a fucking wooden spoon and drenched in gasoline and set ablaze. you in my opinion have every right to want to get revenge but i think that the only acceptable revenge would be murder. but in todays society we cant just go around murdering people and such so i guess you could settle for something thats right up there with killing those fucking leeches. i say tie down that bastard who started it and proceed to cut his dick and balls off with a pair of scissors. then shove a knife up his ass and twist it round and round. and the same for those other parasites who were involved.....but anyway you seem like a cool enough and smart enough guy to NOT actually go that far so all i can really say is i hope you get better soon and you have my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You need to press charges so he will get discharged with a Bad Conduct discharge. He Raped you and if you let him go you. You will let him rape you twice. I was rape from age 13 until I finihed High School at age 19 by the same man in the the last 70s and early 80s. No one was around to help me. You need to put this guy away. You can never have a live if you let him walk.
    Thomas Francis Musumeci
    Winston Salem NC

    By the way I was wrongly discharged by the Navy by a young kid who I did nothing more than make a pass at!! The Army will make sure he will never get a job anywhere if you follow though!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. No offence but, you seem to bitch to much about what others say. If you don't won't their opinon then don't ask for it just state your case and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I know part of you enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Mason has the right to bitch about people's replies on this particular post.

    Because those so-called anonymous reader's attitude contributes to the cause of why there are still rape happening in this society.

    Being a whore/slut doesn't mean you deserve to be raped. Being a hooker on the street charging $200 per hour or $50 for a blow job doesn't mean she deserves to be raped

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hey..don't worry about what people say/think/post...It's YOUR life - no one else has any right over it. Your fans love you, but don't OWN you...Best of luck...and remember, for every asshole out there, a hundred more people love you...

    ReplyDelete
  38. hey mason, i cant believe people are still giving you shit, they should just grow up and get a life. i came back onto your page to leave a donation but the the donation bit is not there, will it be going back on again?
    later dude

    ReplyDelete
  39. Love ya Mason (other real name undisclosed)

    Thanks for the add to your yahoo IM, btw.

    Keep in touch. And, don't you worry....you don't need to prove SHIT to those fuckers!

    AND....OMG...YOU will HAVE to tell me sometime online, what was in the wallet! LOL

    Love yur show, babe,
    N

    ReplyDelete
  40. I believe you Mason, and I think you should continue to do whatever you think is the right way to respond. It's sad that people are so heartless and stupid as to blame the victim.

    ReplyDelete
  41. The circumstances of the assault are not important. In the U.S. if you were an unwilling "participant" in a sexual act while it is happening, it is rape. Your career in porn has nothing to do with the act of violence nor does your alleged promiscuity. There is no excuse for sexual violence.

    I find it interesting that the military establishment continues to discharge gay/lesbian people from the military because, "they will ruin the morale of the troops." Yet, each year, thousands of male soldiers are charged with sexual battery. I cannot recall a single instance wherein a gay/lesbian soldier was implicated in sexual battery except as the victim. If the former were the case, I am positive it would be on the nightly news to give validity to the military's position.

    I hope writing your experience helps you begin to heal, Mr. Mason. You'll be in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  42. My boyfriend was involved with RAINN for awhile and it's definitely a helpful organization.

    I hope you've found whatever it is you need to continue to get through this mess.

    ReplyDelete
  43. As a victim of rape myself, I understand the effects it can have on you both short term and long term. You have my support during this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I am so sorry to read what happened to you. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and I hope you will recover from this horrible freak experience. Take good care of yourself man.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I just read your blog post and article online and I am very sorry that such a terrible thing happened to you and your boyfriend. I don't mean to make light of what happened to you, I have never experienced what you went through, but I have two very dear friends who have been the victims of rape. You should not blame yourself or be ashamed. Continue to be strong and my



    god bless you, your boyfriend, your friends and family

    ReplyDelete
  46. I feel as if your rape story fantasies have somehow led to this -- And i'm not making any excuses for what happen, nor blaming you in anyway. I'm so sorry, i did not realize your boyfriend also got raped as well. Please talk to someone, you may think you are okay but it would be good to do so. Don't listen to the trash, you went through a terrible ordeal and I hope that you have the strength to continue to press charges against those who violated you.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hey Mason, I think you should press charges to the fullest extent of the law. Make the assailant and his companions serve time for what they did. It will not undo what has happened to you, but it will prevent them from doing it to another. Stick to your guns and put them away.

    T.M.Fellows

    ReplyDelete
  48. josh the bartenderOctober 10, 2008 at 2:34 AM

    for you to ever feel like you need to justify, even to yourself, such things as bein horny after such an event, is just questioning yourself as a human being...and you knew who you were before this act happened on you and the person that you love (i think is what i am piecing together out of all of this), and you should damn well know after the fact. kid, no one on here has any right whatsoever, no matter what you do for a living or who you sleep with or what color you are, to judge you for writing. most people on here, i would hope, read your articles for some form of entertainment...so why then, would they in their right mind, criticize you even if you were saying something was true to life...it should have just simply remained entertainment! i have recently discovered you on myspace, by chance that is through similar "friends". i have never seen a single movie of yours. i don't know who you are, and i can't lie...when i first started reading all of this, i was astounded. couldn't believe something like this really goes on...then i saw people saying it was a hoax...and i was like 'aw shit, good one'...and as someone that has been in a somewhat similar industry (bartending for 13years is basically like whoring myself out for tips - and i have been called a ho many, many times), you become hardened to peoples prejudgements and attitudes. i understand that some fuck was going to pull all of the 'true' information out, but realize buddy, it was simply because they have nothing better to do with their lives. you may not ever even read this, but i think that you are a beautiful person, and your a fuckin beautiful boy, and if i ever have the pleasure of meeting you, i hope i get to see that smile on your face. take care of yourself and fuck those hoes!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I am so sorry for what is happening right now in your life. Know that you are supported by many adoring fans all across the United States. This is an awful crime that occured, and I hope that Dallas PD addresses this issue more seriously. As a fellow Texan, I know that too many times issues relating to the LGBT community are often overlooked. I know that you wanted this to remain a somewhat private issue since you tried to avoid details spreading, but if anything-please move forward with pressing charges. If not for yourself, but for your boyfriend who has suffered just as much as you have. I encourage you to contact Equality Texas and other LGBT organizations in our state to help out in this matter. Take care Mason. You're a great guy.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Wow, I read about this story on Towleroad. I'm truly sorry to hear of your experience. I am traumatized just reading it. My prayers are with you and your boyfriend. I know that karma will swing back on this person. I hope you are able to heal and move on and that your health isn't impacted.

    Namaste

    ReplyDelete
  51. First i'd like to say im truely sorry for your experience,and truely hope you get well soon. Your truely a sexy,cute,intelligent guy and i'm sure you will pull through. Makes me feel sad though that this happened to,since i'm a major fan of yours. My name is Ethan,and maybe when you can write me back,tell me how your doing. Btw,i also live in houston,and always like making a new friend. Well,heres my email, mr.davidh@yahoo.com, feel free to write anytime you like. Well take care Mason,and a big hug/kiss for you. xoxo...Ethan

    ReplyDelete
  52. Sigh, just sigh.

    I was checking the Advocate and I came across the article about you. I am truly sorry that you had to go through this ordeal, my friend.

    I have read all three of your RR blogs and I cannot believe that you went through something so terrible. People are...well for lack of a better word, dumbasses, the legal system is odd and the military/law enforcement is severely torn.

    That is abhorrent, especially in Texas. Simply nothing but right-winged (or is it left?) straight-laced conservative clowns down there. I cannot say I am surprised at how they handled your case, but they should not have a right to do things like that. They should not let personal opinions get in the way of their jobs, but they do and innocent people suffer for it.

    I do hope that man and his 'buddies' get what they deserve. You deserve better than the treatment that you have gotten thus far. I agree with your words, no matter how strong or harsh they may be. I also hope that in time, you will be able to heal.

    Might I also suggest that you invest in a taser of some sort?

    I'm not attempting to be humorous, no, just merely suggesting, and possibly keep it on your person whenever inviting someone unknown into your home.

    No matter how good of a judge of character you believe them to be. Please be aware that humans are ugly, ugly creatures. Mind you, not all of them, but there are those few who are sick. Too sick.

    Take care my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  53. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a beuatiful man, inside and out...no one deserves this treatment, on any level...

    ReplyDelete
  54. I read your story with horror. I went through something similar in New Orleans on my 21st birthday many many moons ago. I was gang raped by three New Orleans policemen and was also told by other police that I was asking for it by being in bars alone that late at night. It has scared me for life and even when Katrina hit I was hoping it would wipe New Orleans off the map. I hope you can learn to live with this awful thing. It isn't easy.

    C - Dallas, TX

    ReplyDelete
  55. I am sorry that the two of you were attack and that many are saying it did not happen. I would be very angry as well if this happened to me, and I was called a liar.

    You posting reflect a great deal of anger and hate. Do not let those men leave that as the lesson you learned from this attack. Please!

    Your safety and piece of mind have been robbed from you, but lashing out is not the postive, productive solution to getting back what has been taken from you.

    Lean on your true friends! Lean on your family! Talk to a professional who can help the two of you work through this and find your way back to a better place.

    Do not give those people who do not believe you power. This is exactly the reaction they are wanting you express. Please do not give that to them!

    Just my opinion! Hope it helps!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hello cutie,

    I just want to say you are really so my type and if possible, I'd be making out with you at the snap of a finger.

    However, as much I am with you in this court proceedings, you have to take note that the more you change your story or change the details or cover up some issues, the less your chances of winning against those bastards.

    I want those bastards sent to jail and raped as much you would, but you MUST build up a strong case asainst them and changing your statements etc will NOT help matter.

    Please try to stay focus and tell the truth as it is. I know it'd be hard not to become emotional, but you have to control your emotions and bring those bastards to justice. The gay community is actually counting on you to stay objective now to prevent them from harming more of us, OK?

    Good luck, cutie.

    Btw, I'm Asian too and I can cum multiple times every night. It's jst to bad I'm in Asia. Else I'd be hooking up with you immediately when you are going through some "dry" period.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I just read about this now and I have mixed feelings about it, but I feel like I need to say some things.

    It is a terrible thing when people have to go through a traumatic event that goes without saying but when you are talking with and or flirting with random people online what do you expect. I do not know how much contact you had with your attacker but still when you meet anyone for the first time off the internet or in a personal ad you are taking a chance. Sometimes it can pay off and you end up having a wonderful experience. Other times you have people being raped or even killed. I went through a very scary experience myself with meeting someone online in real life. I learned my lesson and thankfully nothing major happened. Bottom line people need to think before they meet up with people for casual fun or even sex because you just never know. And while this could happen to someone just walking down the street you are minimizing the risk by not looking for online hook ups. I will get off my soapbox now ...

    But it seems like you and your significant other learned a lesson the hard way; The physical scars will fade with time but the emotional ones will stay forever. I wish you both the best of luck!

    ReplyDelete