02 October 2008

What's a boy to do?

I've never put much thought into casual hook-ups while being in a relationship. When I was with my boyfriend, it was never really an issue because we had a sexually open relationship, although, technically speaking, we were required to approve a potential fuck with one another first or at least tell each other about it after the fact. As far as I knew, we were mostly honest with each other. The few times I tried to hide things from him, Marcus would somehow find out about it one way or another and it'd always get me in trouble. Towards the end of our relationship Marcus tried to limit our sexual encounters outside of our relationship. I was getting hornier and hornier for more cock while he seemed to be going in the opposite direction. He wanted a more exclusive set up while I wanted to keep the status quo. It's not like I didn't find him attractive anymore or that I wanted to break up, he just wasn't as sexually driven as me, I wanted to have sex 3 or 4 times a day, and he was satisfied having sex once a week. When I did manage to get his clothes off it was always well worth it, he was definitely as nasty as I was in bed and I loved it! But once a week just wasn't enough for me.

Although our sex life wasn't the only reason why we broke up, it was one of the reasons. Sex is very important to me and not because I want it to be, I think I am a sex addict and when I don't get my fill then my mind gets all out of whack. But as fate would have it, as soon as Marcus left, so did my sex drive, I suppose when my heart is broken so is the rest of my body. I am not sure I am capable of loving anyone else besides Marcus and so for the past couple of months I have put my all into convincing him to give "us" another go. Four weeks ago we agreed to a fresh start, a slow start, but a start none the less... which is better than nothing. We wanted to clear the slate and start all over, with everything. So we moved down to Houston, got new furniture, and began the whole dating process over again, something we had skipped the first time around. I don't know what it is about him but I just wasn't ready to give up.

He's an Asian boy, Filipino actually, but born here in Texas. Tight little hairless body the color of caramel. Perfect little five inch cock that stands curving up when he's got a hard white cock stuffed in his face. Lightly haired nuts that pull up when he's about to spurt and a perfectly smooth pink butthole that opens up whenever I eat him out. Sometimes his hole clenches around my tongue like a little fist. He loves getting his ass licked out. The deeper the better and the louder he moans like a cum hungry whore. Til it's all sloppy wet with spit just begging for a dick to plow it. Then he flips me over and fucks me raw. It's the fucking hottest thing to watch him blow his load up my twat in a mirror. Sometimes it's the only way I can get off. Watching it happen, watching my cunt open up like a mouth for his jizz, then watching his hot little cock spear my pussy again and push his load up inside me. I'd even finger myself afterward. Rubbing his load up inside my ass walls. Barebacking is something that we reserved solely between him and me since we’re both HIV negative and want to keep it that way. The rules for our previous relationship stated no barebacking with anyone else. Condoms or just cock sucking, and whenever we played with someone else together, it was always safe, even between Marcus and I, so we wouldn't tempt anyone into fucking me raw.

This time around we agreed that we wouldn't have sex with other people until we figured out what we wanted from each other first.

The thing about me is that I like to think that I am not simply easy, that I am not just a piece of ass that any old average Joe can get but that for the right guy, a hot guy, that has a hot dick, and the right attitude, I am a sleazy little slut as dirty as they come. My standards maybe shallow but they are standards that I stick too. I can usually control myself and I know my limits. I only ever do what I want to do and I'm usually good with suppressing my temptations when its for an important cause.

But this new beginning makes me feel as though history is going to repeat itself. I often come on to Marcus two or three times a day only to be refused access to his private parts. I really want this to work but not getting dick is killing me. I'm jerking off 3 times a day and I'm still horny. Recently I started working out at the 24 hour fitness in Midtown. It's the biggest gym in the gayest neighborhood in Houston, so it's always packed with hot gay men and you can always tell who's cruising. A handful of guys have come up to me and hinted that they'd love to get to know me... feed me a free "meal" and explore my "insides"... Especially when I go down into the steam room. So far I have graciously turned down every offer. But each week it is getting harder to say no. I still love Marcus and I want things to work out but either he needs to start putting out more or I need to get a membership at a gym frequented by females and old people or we need to talk about having sex with other people because if something doesn't change soon I'm just going to start cheating...

I need some advice!!!
What's a cock hungry slut to do?

37 comments:

  1. well if your man aint putting out...whats a cock hungry slut to do you ask....LOOK FOR IT SOMEWHERE ELSE...Thats the reason why u broke up so maybe it means ur not meant to be...or u can find a fuck buddy that puts out whenever u want...and not tell ur man about it that way u can have 'the love of your life' and the cock of your life

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  2. Buddy,

    Here's my advice take it or leave it. You've got a connection with Marcus that is deeper then sex. While the sex is hotter then all get out, a relationship is not solely built on sex. Sure it's important, and you know this, but a mature relationship has more going on in then fucking.

    If you feel you've got a sex addiction problem; talk to some professionals about it; talk with Marcus about it. If Marcus is truly the one for you, you won't mind putting in the effort.

    Doing everything you want, just because you want it, is the attitude two year olds have. You're a bigger man than that. Show that guy to yourself, and Marcus.

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  3. Marcus,

    I think the two of you need to go to group therapy and work out the details concerning your relationship. It caused you to break up once. Ask yourself, Do you really love him? If the answer is yes then it's time to do a reality check. Communication is always key!

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    Replies
    1. That is true; communication is always the key! Hiding, denying, and most important, lying to the person you claim to love is very hurtful and destroying.
      If there is love, then love back. Go to therapy and learn what you can do to rescue your relationship

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  4. I think jeffred said it all.

    Don't listen to andre's advice.
    It's only going to make the problem worse. You'll be back to square one.

    If you really love Marcus, find something to help out your relationship- NOT your sex life!

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  5. Mason, my friend, sex isn't the basis for a relationship. It is great when it works, but there is obviously something bigger that attracts you to Marcus. Couples counseling could be beneficial. A big thing is not to put yourself in situations where you could 'slip' and ruin a good thing. If your gym is more temptation than you can handle, by all means change gyms! If you take away the temptation, you take away the potential for a disastrous end to a relationship you are working hard to maintain. Above all communicate. You seem like a decent guy-put your energy into your relationship and don't worry about that nice dick so much ;-)

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  6. get therapy. and i don't mean that in a mean cunty way. i mean you should get therapy for the sex addiction. if you love him its the best thing you can do. i had a bf i loved very much 10 years ago...anyway...my urges and sex addiction caused me to lose him. i have since then been in therapy and gotten help...if i knew then what i know now. if you love him youll get help. if you love yourself. get help.

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  7. Mason,

    I have read the other comments, and most seem intelligent and well thought out.

    However let me give you my opinion from a unique point of view.

    None of those commentators thus far have confessed to being a sex addict. I am. I am even diagnosed by a professional, and I am just about your age, I am 25. I love sex, and I masturbate more times in one day than a lot of my friends do in a week. I am completely insatiable, it's the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last at night. After a while, I figured out why I am this way. For me personally it is about acceptance and closeness.

    I have never had a boyfriend, and as such I equate sex with the closeness and companionship that I believe comes with having a boyfriend, so I, like a drug addict, seek that emotional and physical high I get which only occurs when I get laid. In a similar vein, I very rarely feel sexy or attractive, even cute is a stretch for me in my mind, so when I get laid I not only feel good, but I feel good about myself, in only for a little while.

    These are my two big reasons that I am a sex addict.

    This being said, allow me to offer my view on your problem.

    I believe that if you truly Love Marcus, and it sounds like you do, maybe its time to try and talk this out with him, you have a self-confessed carnal need to screw. And I find no shame in that at all. Marcus may not. I think its important that you two find a happy medium together that works for you both. Perhaps a slightly open situation might work for you, limiting the number of encounters in a week with others. Maybe not. Maybe you have to expand your personal collection of toys, maybe Marcus might buy you some, or at least pick them out for you so you would be playing with him in a way.

    If it were me, I would do everything possible to stay faithful to my bf, and to explain my situation, my feelings to him, and to make him understand.

    In the end the only person who can make this decision is yourself. And all the comments in the world won't help. You know yourself better than anyone, and I know you are smart enough to figure out what you need. Your friends, both on the web, and in real life, will support you, and be there for you when you need them.

    I wish you all the best.

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  8. hey just sit him down and have a heart to heart conversation with him. be completely honest with him and tell him what u want and what u need to help make this relationship work. especially if he wants to have it exclusive then he needs to give a little more to u as well if u r going to do it for him.

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  9. Your desire to try to stay with someone you love is admirable...though not always feasible.

    Here's a different perspective which I hope is helpful. At your age, it should cause worry, if you weren't in the mood 3 times or even more a day, or want to have sex at least once daily. (Fuck, doesn't everyone?) You may be a sex addict (only you know), but it sounds like you have a normal, healthy sex drive. Wanting sex daily during your 20s or 30s is not addiction, it's quite typical.

    It is equally atypical for someone of the same age to want to have sex only once a week. Healthy sexual drive is the result of adequate hormonal levels. My guess is that Marcus should get checked in depth. You obviously have no problem, and are probably high normal. If Marcus has low levels, your appetites will nver match. After that, yeah, you could talk to a counselor, but you have legitimate physical and emotional needs which not being met right now for whatever reason. If there's hope, a mutually acceptable compromise on sex is unavoidable. Otherwise you will be sexually and emotionally starved....not a way to live. Most people would find it hard to exist that way, so don't be too hard on yourself. Best of luck with solving this. :-)

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  10. You need to talk with him and he needs to understand that your needs are just as important as his. He should meet you half-way and try to help with your needs as he would expect you to do for him. You are not a slut but just a guy who has a very high sex drive. if he refuses to even meet you in the middle he is forcing you to look for other ways to satisfy yourself

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  11. I'm available and ready as much as you are. My BF and I do it on average every other night, so I could squeeze you in I think! When we aren't doing it I'm beating off to porn. I just can't help it. Love the feeling right before I cum! Wish I could feel that way all the time! In fact, as I right this I feel a boner coming on! Damn you Wyler!

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  12. just stop being a whore i say

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  13. fuck therapy, fuck marcus. you don't know what you want, obviously, and being in a relationship with marcus won't help you figure that out. and at this point there's no need to get a pill pushing shrink involved either. take some mason time - time without marcus, time you allow yourself to do whatever, and figure out what you need and want. fuck everything else. relax, reflect, and don't allow yourself to be swallowed by doubt and insecurity.

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  14. Yeah I agree to some folks in here....I think you are addicted to sex..May not necessarily harm you right now, but in the long run, if it doesn't get managed, would be harmful to you and the ones you love or love you.

    Wow, I like the description of your filipino boy with the "5" inch dick and stuff. I am Filipino too and I found it interesting to describe your (ex)bf. Was it not too much info to mention your Marcus's dick size in this public blog? But again, it's your blog...

    on the other hand, oh my gosh, how can someone not have sex with you at least everyday? as hot as you are, gosh i wouldn't pass, especially if we are "in love" with each other, right?

    xoxo.

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  15. Love is about sacrifices. If you truly love him then you will do whatever it takes (legally of course) to make things work. If not, then realize that you two are just better off as friends with benefits and go about your business. Just don't make any hasty decisions.

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  16. well i'm reading your post, especially about how hot your asian ex is, and i was thinking it was a pity you were never paired with andy honda during your time with corbin fisher.

    but about your dilemma. i too am a young guy (22), in great shape, considered good looking, horny 24/7. i've tried committed relationships a couple of times but they just don't work for me.

    i've been with over 150 guys since i first started messing around at 16, and have been fucked by at least 100 of 'em. and ya know, i don't feel like a slut. it's just who i am. there are so many hot guys out there, and i feel like i'm just spreadin' the love haha!

    so i wouldn't feel bad about it. just be yourself, enjoy as many men as you feel like. be upfront about who you are and what you expect: i don't think there's anything wrong with just telling a guy 'you're hot and i want you to fuck the shit outta me!'

    oh, and make more movies for dink!

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  17. you know your a slut who doesnt care about rent, bills, marcus or anything....all you want is cock

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  18. You know, I had a gym teacher that looked just like you...

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  19. I say you need to talk to Marcus and state your needs. I'm sure you have tried this, but say it again. Also, maybe if you need to talk to someone else, like a therapist. Try couples counseling. See if there is something to your notion that you may be a sex addict. And in the meantime, go to another gym. If you love Marcus and want this to work, you owe it to both of you to do whatever you can to make it work before you throw in the towel or give in to outside temptations.

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  20. Hi there. I've been in a strict monogamous relationship for 19 years and we've always had different sex drives. All of our friends are in long term relationships and they all have the same problem: one's a horndog slut and the other is a shy panda. But what makes these relatioship works is that each person accepts the other person for who they are and not try to change them. There is more to a relationship than sex and I think you are discovering that with Marcus...

    That said, I suspect there is more to the equation than you simply being horny and he not putting out. It sounds like he's threatened by your sex drive and afraid of losing you. I cannot be easy being the partner of the world's biggest and hottest porn star.

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  21. Sex is sex. Raw and physical. Sex is NOT love, however. If Marcus loves you and you love him, and unless either of you sold your physical body to the other, having sex with other people doesn't mean you don't still love one another. As long as both of you know where your hearts and minds are, what you two do physically outside of the relationship shouldn't strain the relationship itself.

    But if sex is an obstacle that turns out to be impossible to get over, the old saying 'time heals all wounds' is really true. The heartache might feel like it never ends but it does.

    Just remember that loving someone doesn't mean they own you. Men are a dime a dozen and if the compatibility is off with one, perhaps it'll match up with another.

    I know this all sounds negative but I intend for you and Marcus to have a successful relationship. Good luck guys!

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  22. i didn't read anyone's comments before i made my mind up, only listen to the advice that follows your heart. everyone here is just probably just trying to get into your pants, hell i would like to myself, but if you really want to make the relationship work you need to talk about it, not soon but now! He needs to know how you feel, and you need to know the reasoning behind the sex once a week thing. I may not be "Dear Abby" but communication is always important in relationships, i met an awesome guy this year who is in an open relationship, we have hung out a few times and done stuff but every time he told his partner, later i found out that he and his partner have been together for 12 years, i thought to myself thats amazing, i want that, he told me his secret is communication, weather it bee something you want to try or someone that you want to sleep with, talk about it. It's working for them, i hope it works for you both. Peace, love, And Potato Chips!!!!

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  23. I left most my comments on your Myspace blog, so I'll be brief here. If you think you may be a sex addict, then see a sex addiction specialist! Open up to MArcus, and share all your feeling with him, and encourage him to do the same. Talk about how the BOTH of you feel! Maybe both will need to change things in your lives. I truly hope you two make it together, and everything works out!! :)

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  24. Mason. I think a lot of the stuff you said triggered a ton of emotions I'm feeling right now myself. I just unwantingly got out of a relationship with someone who was HIV positive. I was not. The virus scared him. He was an amazing guy and was scared that he was going to pass the virus on to me even though all we did was oral sex.

    So different circumstances, but a similar result - whats a guy to do?

    I think you have to reach down deep inside yourself and figure out whats really important to you. Somewhere, sex is playing an emotional role and is more than just the fullfillment of a carnal pleasure. To me, thats love and thats where you should go. Love is give and take, this might be somewhere you need to give in a bit.

    For me, I offered him switching to jacking off together exclusively. He liked that, but was still an emotional mess and didn't even show gratitude.

    The relationship continued to crumble, and now I'm left all alone.

    It hurts, and sounds like a lot of the same emotions you just finished going threw

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  25. Not meaning to sound rude, but it sounds like you have a little bit of growing up to do. Everything is me me me. You need to decide if your selfishness is more important than your love for Marcus. That simple.

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  26. I think personally you and Marcus need to sit down and talk about what's really going on with your relationship. My last boyfriend and I broke up for lots of reasons and one of them was about sex. I needed it at least 2 a day or a couple of times of week. He didn't want to do that often. If we had sat down and discussed it and not ignored the issues, we might have worked it out. I love sex and you guys sound like you really connect deeper than just sex. Couples counseling might work too. But I would sit down with him first and talk. That's my two cents.

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  27. asianguy_loves_wyler_tooOctober 3, 2008 at 10:38 AM

    thank god, you blog again!

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  28. Before moving on, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, how will you look standing in that mirror in twenty years, as alone as you are standing before it now? The one thing I admire most about you is that you admit something that in the end may save your life or terminate it: you have a sexual addiction. So do you give in, or get some help? Like an alcoholic, they drink to excess (even just the weekends) and by 40, when they suddenly realize they have to get it together, their liver is shot. That's when I come in. But most times they don't have the money or the resources to get a new liver. So what happens? They cry all the way to the grave and always the same thing: "why didn't someone stop me." And its a very painful way to die. And all because most times its because you just laughed in the persons face when they warned you. Something tells me you need recognition; you require acceptance. And sex is a great way to do it because chemically, not only is someone acknowledging you, but chemicals in the brain are now going off giving you that feeling of satisfaction. Just like a craving for steak; you go out and have it and are satisfied for the moment. But its an ugly game because you're going to have it again. Resist the urge and eventually it will go away and you'll find what you really want. If Marcus is what you really want, you'll need to make that choice: it always ends being that way eventually, and especially as each years passes in your life and you get older. If you have him to accept you, it should be the greatest prize you could hope for. But if its not, you can certainly try to have both, and suddenly look back and your 40, or 45, or 50 and you know where they are; you no more would have anything to do with a 40 year old than most at your age. But it is going to be "your age" one day too and if you don't make a go of it and get your ducks all in a row, you're going to spend the rest of your life trying to put enough money together for someone to take care of you at home, otherwise you'll just end up in a nursing home discarded and waiting for death. Curb you "addiction," and you might escape the "gay curse" and be with someone as incredible as Marcus and he will be there to grow old with you. Then again you can ignore the advice and just tuck it away and see if I was right when you are 40. In my case, I wouldn't have the sex to just get a man or the acceptance. Now, although alone, I couldn't be happier because I am listening to all the ones addicted to sex bitch about their relationships; and every three years a new relationship to bitch about. And their "bucket list?" 30 if not 40 things to be done. Me; I have three things. 1: Cure cancer in children before I die; 2: sue spammers and help others to sue spammers so one day spam will be a thing of the past like cancer (and at $25,000 per case, 3 cases a week, I have a great income of $10,000 a week to live on and $65,000 a week to give to Children's hospitals to achieve #1; 3: Live by the beach. That's it! I've done everything else because I didn't give in to the sex or any other addiction and chose to just let life and every adventure be my addiction. Good luck. And I hope with all my heart it works out with Marcus. The fact that he has given you a second chance says something incredible about him; I know because I never give second chances when it comes to cheating. Too, half of my family (all 200 of them) are Filipinos; I am never without someone to be there because being Italian myself -- someone is always there to cheer you up and stand by your side. Best wishes (Antonio Di) (wplaca.com)

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  29. It's an issue of what do you value most, Sex or Marcus? If you stay w/ Marcus your sex cravings will have to be adjusted to keep the relationship going. Part of making a relationship work is compromising. On the other hand if you don't want to compromise your sex life then perhaps you shouldn't be w/ Marcus and you should find someone more compatible to you on a sexual level. If you do decide to try and make it work w/ Marcus though you should avoid places and situations that will tempt you to cheat. I mean if an alcoholic wants to stop drinking he doesn't walk in to a bar.

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  30. u want to make it thru with marcus then try to make it thru... do things aways from gay society for once and go out leave ur car, talk about it on smart talk and try to connect with him have some quality time and is not always bout sex. if u wanna move on if is ur choices.

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  31. Hey mason...From wut i can see ur serious about this relationship and Love and sex actually do go together so he has to come to some type of an agreementlike a compromise because if he really loves you back he'll do anything to keep you by his side....trust me i no cuz i've made my fill of mistakes...and i miss my ex more than anything..sooo do wut you need to do.

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  32. Well, I'm sure you're not even thinking about this right now, but...I'm posting this anyway since I posted about your rape. I'm going to approach this from someone whose been in an open relationship and someone who is now happily in a monogamous relationship.

    My current boyfriend and I don't get to have sex as often as we'd like. He has a very high-powered job and can't stay over often and it's not ideal. I love sex, possibly as much as you do. Here's the thing. I love this guy. We've been in the relationship for a year. He's most likely "the one." I'm willing to deal with "the rules."

    All that said...I'm 27 and have pretty-well sown my wild oats. I'm ready to settle down. I think that's the question you're asking. Are you ready to settle down. Are you willing to jack off even though you know you can get HOT men pretty well ANYTIME you want? Are you willing to get ONLY him the rest of your life? Is he worth it? If he is, you'll decide to go along with this. If not, well, you've missed out on a few dicks...and let's be honest. If he's not you can get their numbers again...or find better.

    Either Way,

    Good luck. There's a lot going on with you. I hope it all resolves.

    D.

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  33. Hey dude: I came across to your blog through the rape story from UNZIPPED, and I've just discovered a wonderful young adult with a wonderful mind and heart.
    I don't have any advice to offer you, but my personal suffered romantic experience tells me that you should try to find your own sexual equilibrium with that wonderful guy named Marcus. You've described him as Mr Right for you, and you deserve to be loved and feel so happy as you perfectly wrote it down in your blog. Only a little bit of patience, a lot of good energy and you'll be the happiest couple on Earth...
    Wish you the best mate!
    Strong hug!

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  34. There could be many reasons why Marcus doesn't want to put out, including a lower sex drive. But I suggest to him (assuming he reads this) that he offer to help make your jerkoff sessions more fun. He can help out in many ways and provide you with pleasure without being horny himself.

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  35. The guys in LTRs that I know all survive largely because they keep them open sexually. They have LOTS of common interests, apart from sex. I could never be monogamous least not now. Maybe when I'm in my 30s or 40s, when my hormones have chilled out.

    I don't think you're a sex addict: I think you're a hot guy with a healthy sex drive who can probably have sex with just about any guy he chooses; and so long as you're safe, and respect each others' boundaries, and don't lead each other on, I see no reason why you shouldn't. I know I do.

    The only problem here is you calling yourself a 'slut'. Sluts mess around with their friends boyfriends behind their back and stuff like that.

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  36. Hi Mason ^^
    Your problem is a puzzler...I'm not too sure what to suggest, but I think you should talk to Marcus about this. Both of you are young, and I think things are a little bit hectic now. Am I right?
    Hopefully, he should understand, because Marcus sounds like a nice enough chap (lol).
    If problems persist, then probably just takea break from it all for a while? I don't know because I'm not a councillor, and I'm British, a double whammy! XD
    Just go with your instinct, that's all you can do.
    I hope I have helped
    Ciao

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