23 January 2009

From Banker to Spanker: One Way to Keep Mortgage Holders in Line

By CAPTAIN FAGGOT

I recently came across the three decade old story of David Rhodes, a former bank manager from Baden, Pennsylvania, who discovered a way to ensure that customers who were late on their loan payments would never be late again. His solution? Spank them. That's right, Mr. Rhodes (that's Sir to you) punished more than 50 delinquent customers by spanking them in his office.

The bank master reported that it was very effective, saying, "I never had any trouble with them afterward." This proved to be a premature statement since he was later convicted of misappropriating $88,268 in bank money and sent to prison for three years.


Why did he do this? Well six of the Spankees apparently didn't appreciate the free discipline and threatened to report Master Rhodes to his Superiors unless they were given unrecorded loans. Those loans equaled the amount misappropriated, Rhodes never took any money for himself. One of the six threatened to report it as a homosexual activity... You see, David Rhodes only spanked young men and back in 1979, in the great state of Pennsylvania (just like many other states at the time), it was still illegal to participate in homosexual behavior.

During his trial, his attorney presented numerous polygraph results and psychiatric tests in defense of his clients heterosexuality. David's lawyer even brought up the fact that Rhodes was married with two children, eventually disproving the allegations of homosexuality to the satisfaction of the FBI.

What I want to know is if the other 44 Customers truly never defaulted on their loan payments again...

Have you been late on your loan payments?

4 comments:

  1. So far I've never been late, but if my loan officer is hot as hell, I may consider taking my sweet time next month.

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  2. Hi Mason,

    Wher can one contact you? (e-mail)

    Werner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL, Baden is only about 5 miles from my house!!

    ReplyDelete