By JAMES B.
What's up motherfuckers. Yeah, I'm back.
A little intro before tonight's festivities. I know no one is here to read the rantings of a bitter, old, fat, colored queen (a special note to Andy, my friend from across the pond: listen heifer, if you want to insult please go at it, but stop with the reality show mess. I'm TV free and the only telly references I get come from the following shows: Hill Street Blues, Homicide, The Wire, and The Flintstones). You all want Mason's tales of incredible booty sex and how you too can tap his loverly ass. Really can't hate you for that. Alas all you get is me and my ranting. Well deal with it peoples. No one said life was fair. If it were, do you think I would be writing this shit for free?
Without any more delay, my second round of things that annoy.
1) Queens who like to point out how they are not like other queens: you hear this all the time in the bars. Some man, doing his best to swallow the cum stuck in his throat, going on and on how glad he is that he doesn't act nelly.
2) Gay porn stars with great asses who only top: this is going to make me marry a woman because it is immoral. A beautiful backside in gay porn is supposed to be filled with lots of dick, not stared at.
3) Conversations on race: if I were queen of the US of A, no one would be allowed to talk about race for 100 years. It's an important topic, but 99 percent of what is said is either drivel or just plain racist. And for the record: just because you date a man of a different color does not give you a pass to get in my face to yammer about the struggle for equality. I get no royalties from this, but you should read Richard Thompson Ford's The Race Card.
4) Gay porn and race: take away the gay sex and the KKK would love gay porn. Jesus, what is up with the segregation where Asians bone Asians, blacks do blacks, Latinos bed Latinos, and whites do the nasty with whites. And the few times there is some cross racial loving, the stereotype is right behind. Chi-Chi baby I loves you, but damn! How many times can you do the one white guy being gang banged by 50 black guys thing!?
5) The New York Knicks: I love them. They are my team, but they suck. And not in the good way.
6) Guys who don't watch their teeth: my dick is thick and the few times I've gotten it sucked (I know you motherfuckers are not shocked about my pathetic sex life), I've had to say more than once to be careful with the fangs. The only time I didn't have to make that request was with this woman I was dating back in the day (long boring story). She knew how to to handle it. Rather well actually. She needs to give lessons to some of you.
7) Queens who get grossed out about eating pussy: I've done it. It ain't bad.
This is enough to chew on for tonight. Do what you need to. The picture is from auteur Vidkid Timo.