Some of you may have been wondering where I've been these past few weeks. I know it felt like I abandoned you for awhile and it's pretty much true, but I swear, I only did it out of necessity.
You see there are these terrorists that have been terrorizing the citizens of Wyler Nation. It isn't safe for our boy-sluts to fuck with their doors open anymore, it isn't safe for sex tourists to cross into our borders anymore, and even love making late at night in the comfort of a bed isn't safe anymore...
With our country at full capacity tourists don't seem interested in taking a Wyler Nation Vacation, even if it's only for just one night and I don't blame them. I mean, Who would seriously want to visit a country over-run with terrorists? One of these terrorists comes in the form of a baby, but don't be fooled, it's just a disguise. This "infant" terrorist has some sort of sensitive biological radar device that goes off any time sexual activity is commencing and immediately releases an ear-drum shattering (and hard-on killing) cry that can be heard all across the country.
Some of their tactics for terrorism are less physically abrasive but just as torturous and unbearable. The adult terrorists routinely interrupt Wyler Nation "alone time" by incessant knocking on bedroom doors with notifications that dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, Chicken Adobo, food, whatever, is ready.
I tried to get rid of them but the First Boy insisted that they are family (a family of terrorists) and that we should offer them amnesty!? He must be crazy but trying to talk sense into him about the subject matter is useless.
The never ending demands to eat (anything and everything except what I actually want to be feasting on) are annoying, the crying monster makes me think of babies in a blender, but the worst offense of all is that they've cut off Wyler Nation's ability to obtain fresh loads of protein from a wide range of anonymous sources... Something the President and the First Boy have become addicted to. Wyler Nation is being forced into a cock famine and if I spend too much time in my country, I will starve to death.
So lately I've been visiting places where I can freely feed my hunger like: Back alleys, sex parties, gloryholes, cruising bar bathrooms, public park restrooms, truck stops, and bath houses... I ultimately go home but I'm usually so tired and jet-lagged from all the "travel" that I forget to update you, my readers. I apologize for that and I will try harder from now on to keep y'all in the loop. In the meantime... Can somebody PLEASE stop these villainous cock-blocking people!? I WANT MY HOME BACK!