14 March 2009

I Hate the Gays

By James B. Wyler

After Mr. Man Mason decided to call me out, I figured I should write something. The Mason simply could have sent a brother an email, but we all know how that beyotch acts. All you fans keep your funky emails to yourself because the last sentence was a freaking joke.

So here's a story. I'm at my local gay watering hole, lusting after the straight bartender (yes I'm that pathetic), and I look up from my drink. The place is crowded. A few of the cuties are preening and even some of the uglies, who should know better, are walking around like they are the one. Some have that look that if they don't get any booty they are going to rape someone, and some of the old heads are dreaming about back in the day when they ruled the scene. As an old head, I never ruled the scene.

So I'm looking around and it hits me. I hate queens. Not in the let's burn them all mentality or the ex-gay crap (to all the former queens out there: kiss my ass you weak punks). My distaste for everything gay is in the way we act. Sure a motherfucker is generalizing but if I can't do it here where can I do it?

What are our ways, you ask? We are some shallow whores. I always put my ear to conversations around me and on this night I heard more shit about workout techniques than I need to hear. Yes, Yes. I know. Everybody wants to be healthy and have the body of Adonis. That shit I get, but is that all we can talk about? Do we really need to waste air yapping about personal trainers and diet?

And when did it become cool for queens to copy each other like sad clones? Must we all wear Abercombie clothes? Just because you wear those cheap ass t-shirts, you are not going to be gang-banged by the models in the ads. And shit, haven't we heard the freaking company was a little bit racist.

If we wear bullshit clothes, we also make ourselves the center of the world. Maybe it's a NYC queen thing, but every gay has some bullshit story about being a star or fucking a star. I once had a date with some mf (stop laughing) who went on and on and on and on and on and on and on about his brief moment in the sun when he was a guest on the Rosie O'Donnell Show. Yes I know the heifa hasn't had her own show in ages but this man was still telling the tale, with pictures.

And what the fuck do we have about age. I'm not asking for you young things to hop in my bed (if you want to give me a call), but why is every old queen acting like he's 18 by using the words "bro" or "dude" or dancing to some song that came out yesterday? Is it a sin to be old now and groove only to the sounds of Monk?

And you young things need to calm the fuck down. Yes your booty is nice and tasty now but you are going to age like everybody else. And this is the thing no one tells you about getting old: desire never leaves.

Lastly we are dumb. Dumb as rocks. We don't read books nor know any history; however, we can tell you the freaking clothes in Britney's latest video. As if what that tart wears really matters.

I got nothing against my fellow sodomites, but I do wish we as a people stepped our game up a bit.


  1. Funny. Hmmm. Something to think about. Desiring sucks!

  2. Sounds like you need to find a new watering hole, sweet pea :o(

    Granted I do agree with your generalizations to an extent. Hell most of humanity is pretty much devoid of any character or ability to hold a 60 second conversation of any interest.

    There are plenty of gay men out there though that are worth the time and effort (even in soul-sucking NYC) but they prolly feel they way you do and avoid certain venues.

  3. Maybe you should start a book club for sodomites, ala Oprah Winfrey's. Every month you choose a book, and then the rest of us get to discuss it here.

    Porn + Education = Revolution!

    (but you have to promise to read the selected books...) ;-)

  4. Hurrah! He speaks the truth...ok, a generalisation but the truth nonetheless

  5. Possibl you should focus your anger on something else. And no, not every gay is a clone of each other. Shall I state the truth behind this? In life, but especially the sex industry, they paint a picture of the perfect guy, being thin, muscled, and intelligent. However we all know that not every gay is like that. That is where I have issues with the "perfect" person. This is not true; this is completely false, and whoever thought that we all need a perfect guy is completely insane and obtuse.
    Whoever sides with this lunatic who came up with this idea is disillusioned. We are created to make a point. I've been created to show that we are all different, and beauty is internal, not external.
    One day, you'll all see that we need to look inside the soul, not through it. Well I hope anyway....
    Take care

  6. I don't even think there's any comment I could add to that that wouldn't detract from it. You couldn't have said it any better!!!

  7. so true so fucking sad true.

  8. lol
    I think you need to get out of the clubs and do something else mate! Not all gay men are like this. When I hung out at nightclubs and bars, it seemed as tho all gay men were this way. But trust me they aren't. It is what the bars and nightclubs do to the people in them. I'm gay and I read. I make films. I like Plato and Tarkovsky. I also like cute boys and hot men but its not everything.
    If you keep beating the drum about what you don't like - it will never change. Beat a new drum. and visit different places where the men don't have to preen! :)

  9. I agree with Mr. JB Wyler when he uttered briefly: Those damn youngins' are so friggin' dense and they all look like they robbed a Gap mannequin.

    I'm in my early twenties and see the saddening community of gays kill themselves by perpetuating preening in the mirror of their reciprocal facsimiles they call "bro" and "dude" and becoming shallow, narcissists. It's because I dress modestly and don't infantilize the community that I'm always subject to ridicule and have ultimately become the second-time-pariah.

    It really hurts to see these dense human beings walk the earth as if age will stop and time will go on. I believe there are two solutions to the problem (and I believe it is a problem, indeed). One, the dumb hipsters who can't understand the three R's: readin', riting, 'rithmatic need to be introduced to a scene of culture (which means mentorship from the well-aged ones), not a scene of bath-housery and start exploring the possibility of using a brain & body combo to fight the evil oppressors of the right-wing. The second solution is to embrace the fact that most of these nonsensical nymphs will go the way of the do-do bird.

    Either way, the community has been making great strides to mature our culture and create our own. No longer will we use blunt instruments to convey our message (whatever it may be), but rather surgically remove stigmas and stereotypes to show the world its time to shed the mardi-gras mask and see the community as intelligent, bold, opinionated and resilient.

  10. "We are dumb." Well you certainly proved that point with this diarrhetic fail of a post. Mason, why are you letting this fucktard pollute your site with his inane content?

  11. if it helps, i totally agree, and i am a young thing, i just happen to think as well

  12. Right on James!! It does seem that the gay community is shallow, and I would say it's so even in S.W. Missouri where I live. I've tried to meet guys on line at Myspace, Facebook, and a couple gay sites. Not just for sex, though I would love some, but to be friends too. Everyone seems to be great about wanting to meet, that is till they see a picture of me. Then I just never hear from them again.

    Now I'm certainly not Adonis, but I not Medusa either!! I have a little bit a weight, I'll admit I weigh over 300 pounds. I'm tall, and friends say I don't look like I weight over 300, but I do! I know I do, and it hurts me that I do. I have a great personality, I'm friendly, I'm 29, and I've had several people say my face looks cute, so what is the problem????

    I understand people not being attracted to an overweight person, I'm not my self, but that makes no difference who I'm friends with. Guys wont even be friends with me because of my looks. I know like 3 gay guys in my town, and even they don't talk to me much. I guess I might as well be died, or worse, 30 all ready!!

    Maybe part of the reason many Straight people don't take use seriously, is that often time we don't take our selves seriously?? It's easy for other to be prejudice against gays, we are prejudice against each other already.