27 June 2009

Easily Sleazy


I like men who have standards. The standard of fucking boys they barely know as long as there's a mutual physical attraction. You don't like to put out on the first date? Not into hook-ups or one night stands? Then move along. I'm not going to wine and dine you(unless your cock is the main course and your cum is the dessert). There won't be a next time unless the first time ended with hole-pounding explosions. We don't need to play twenty questions. I don't need to know what you do for a living and you don't need to know where I went to school. We don't even need to exchange names. Just call me slut and I'll call you Sir and we'll call it Heaven. Why waste time getting to know each other when the only thing I care to know about you is what you look like naked and how good you are at plowing my ass. I don't jump through hoops just to get laid and if you want my hole then you won't have to either(that is as long as you're hot). The most difficult thing about getting your dick should be unbuttoning your pants NOT figuring out the right buttons of yours to press. I'm not patient and I definitely don't like to take ANYTHING slowly. Give it to me hard, give it to me raw, and most importantly, give it to me NOW. You want to play hard to get? Then play with someone else.

Click Here to read parts One, Two, and Three

24 June 2009

Mason Takes a Bite Out of the Big Apple

One of the perks that comes with working in the adult film industry is the schedule. I work one week per month, which leaves me with virtually 9 months of paid vacation every year. I love time off but being the friendless porn slut that I am, I don't have much to do during those three week breaks. I play video games until my eyes hurt, I work out until my muscles ache, and I have sex with strangers until my ass is sore. Even though those are my three favorite activities and they usually bring me great pleasure and enjoyment, they have become part of my daily routine. And we all know routines can sometimes become a bore. Every now and then I need a bit more excitement. And last month I got that excitement from a trip to New York City.

I went to Times Square to look at all the pretty lights.

I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.

I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

I meandered through Central Park.

Party of None

Almost 30 years ago Bette Midler sang, "Friends", to a crowd of scantily clad, horny Manhattan gay boys. And today I say to you, she was right, you've got to have friends. Life gets awfully lonely without them. That's the way I feel anyway. I have work friends, but they all live in California and New York. I have old friends but they all live in Dallas and Fort Worth. I, however, live in Houston and in Houston I seemingly have none. The fact that I didn't have any friends became painfully obvious on New Years Eve, when both Marcus and I let 2008 come and go without even noticing it, both of us sound asleep while other, more popular couples, were out partying the night away, surrounded by their closest amigos. That week I realized I needed to be more social.

I first met Aiden back in January. I'm in porn, he's in porn. I play video games, he plays video games. I'm a bottom, he's a bottom. I have a boyfriend, he has a boyfriend. AND we both live in Houston. It was inevitable that we would eventually meet. Turns out, we make pretty good friends and there's absolutely no sexual tension between us... unless you throw a double -sided dildo into the equation.

I'm very glad to have Aiden as a friend but one friend is definitely NOT enough. Especially for an insatiable friend-whore like myself. I think its particularly sad that I have over 25,000 "friends" on myspace but only one real life friend that lives in the same city as I do. I want friendS, not just ONE friend. Not myspace friends. Not online friends. Not see you once every now and then friends, but actual, in the flesh, I'll hang out with you alot and often, make fun of you when you're drunk or when you're having a bad hair day, and I won't try to get into your pants, FRIENDS. I mean I have met a few people here and there, made a few acquaintances but no one else has really stuck yet.*

So in an attempt to kick my friend making initiative into high gear, I would like to address the gay boys of Houston, TX:

Gay Boys of Houston Texas, If you see me and/or Marcus at a bar, in a park, at a mall, in the bathroom, at an orgy, on the street corner, or anywhere else that we may be, feel free to say hello and strike up a friendly conversation.

Can you smell the desperation?

*This statement does not include a person that I will write about at a later date

11 June 2009

I'll Be Back

Dear Someone,

I know that I haven't posted anything for quite sometime now. I've been recovering from something for the past two weeks. I am going somewhere this weekend. I will fill y'all in on some details once I return.

Mason Wyler

04 June 2009

Please Don't Urinate In My Bath Water


My boyfriend, the Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, works real hard for the money.
Not many men are cut out to be a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional and my boyfriend is proud to be one. It's a CAREER that he takes very seriously. As a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, he has a very labor-intensive, multi-positional job. He practices for hours and studies every night in order to better his skills of phallus and seminal fluid receiving. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him being taught by a private tutor. No time and place is off limits when it comes to his work. It requires my boyfriend to use every muscle in his body (and a few organs), some more than others of course, and it usually involves heavy usage of his mandibles. He must perform his duties along side a partner in front of a scrutinizing crew, who watches their every move and even captures it on video. Needless to say, when he works, he is usually sore and exhausted before the day is even over.

So I thought it would be a nice gesture to take a long hot bubble bath together after he was done practicing for the afternoon. I mean nothing is more relaxing than taking a nice long hot bubble bath with the love of your life after a hard hour's work, right? I could tell him about the noises I heard coming from the backyard and he could tell me why he had grass stains on his jeans. I thought it'd be romantic... Well it was very romantic, until he urinated in the bath water. I've heard of urinating in the shower, lots of people do it, but who the hell pisses in bathwater that you are currently soaking in?

02 June 2009

If I Spoon Fed You Shit, Would You Eat It?

With the rise of Twitter, the ongoing success of celebrity gossip blogs/magazines, and the never-ending supply of reality television, I have to wonder, Are you really that asinine? Twitter? Really? What the hell are people smoking? "I'm writing a blog about blogging." "I'm scratching my nuts because they itch." "I'm sucking off a football team in the locker room."... If you like to twitter then you are easily amused and well... stupid. I'm no creative genius or original writer by any means but I at least try to be. I fail but I try. I'm always worried about whether or not you'll find my entries interesting, funny, offensive, or arousing. It's ridiculous how much effort I put into my writing especially since most of the time I end up making a fool of myself and since most of you can't read anyway (or prefer not to). Reading is for losers. But if I knew I could just spoon feed you crap then I would (different from the crap I'm spoon feeding you right now). I would just redundantly tell you what I'm doing right now at this very moment, no matter how mundane or dumb it may be. I would just promote every damn gay sex scene ever made. Or I'd just post pictures of people that I drew on and say something bitchy about them. And I'd do it over and over again just to drive up traffic and make more money. Apparently the key to a FINANCIALLY successful blog is quantity not quality. And quantity is something I'm thinking about giving you.

Would you still read Wyler Nation if I posted more often but the entries were even more retarded than they are now?

I Have a NEW Friend and Today is His Birthday

His name is "Aiden". He lives in Houston. He suffers from high-self esteem. And he is one of the two people I call a friend in the Bayou City. Aiden is gay. A gay whorey bottom (we have that in common, among other things...). And today is his gay whorey bottom bitch birthday. Can you guess how old he is turning? 14? 16? I swear he's legal... in some countries.

Our friendship sprouted on the pretense that I would help take him from a twink whore to a bona fide muscle slut thus enabling him to spread his ass-cheeks on such classy and tasteful sites like MasonWyler.com and HoleandaHeartBeat.com. As he is right now, skin and bones, the only work he could get would be for various twink sites/concentration camps. Sure, concentration camps are fun but he wants more than that.

He wants to become a well-known porn model, one that demands a high-scene rate and everyone's cock-stroking attention. He needs muscle to achieve that. He needs to look more like a corn fed Texas boy not an Auschwitz/BoyCrush Survivor. I was suppose to help him gain that muscle and put some meat on his bones...but it seems like I'm better at simply showing him how to be a better dick-worshiping slut. What can I say, it just comes naturally to me. Marcus is a more effective drill sergeant in the gym anyway. All the hot sweaty muscle boys working out just take my focus away from almost anything else going on. Regardless of who's pushing him to reach his goal, I have no doubt in my mind that one day Aiden the twink will become Aiden the stud. It'll just take some time... and alot of HARD work. Like seriously hard work. Maybe even some plastic surgery. Okay, that was lie, he'll need a ton of plastic surgery. But he'll eventually get there.

Like a Brother... A Little Brother.