By MARCUS WYLER
My boyfriend, the Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, works real hard for the money. Not many men are cut out to be a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional and my boyfriend is proud to be one. It's a CAREER that he takes very seriously. As a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, he has a very labor-intensive, multi-positional job. He practices for hours and studies every night in order to better his skills of phallus and seminal fluid receiving. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him being taught by a private tutor. No time and place is off limits when it comes to his work. It requires my boyfriend to use every muscle in his body (and a few organs), some more than others of course, and it usually involves heavy usage of his mandibles. He must perform his duties along side a partner in front of a scrutinizing crew, who watches their every move and even captures it on video. Needless to say, when he works, he is usually sore and exhausted before the day is even over.
So I thought it would be a nice gesture to take a long hot bubble bath together after he was done practicing for the afternoon. I mean nothing is more relaxing than taking a nice long hot bubble bath with the love of your life after a hard hour's work, right? I could tell him about the noises I heard coming from the backyard and he could tell me why he had grass stains on his jeans. I thought it'd be romantic... Well it was very romantic, until he urinated in the bath water. I've heard of urinating in the shower, lots of people do it, but who the hell pisses in bathwater that you are currently soaking in?