23 May 2009

Fuck and Tell


A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE WE COPULATE: PART THREE

I am NOT discreet. I don't care if you're a policeman, army captain, construction worker, celebrity, politician, preacher, partnered, or married. If you lay pipe in my tunnel of fudge then chances are that your mom, your sister, your brother, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your son, your daughter, your priest, or your boss will know about it the next day. Not really, but you get my point, discretion is not something that I practice nor value. Sleep with me at your own risk. I fuck and tell.

Gay 4 Gay

I am NOT straight acting. I am GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. That's Fag Factor Five in case you can't count. I like other OUT GAY men. You're a flaming faggot? No problem. May your fire burn bright. I'm like a moth to the light and your gayness turns me on. Don't get me wrong, I still want a man and I want to be able to tell that your a man without having to take off layers of girly clothing and make up. But just because you cut hair better than you throw a football does not lose you any MAN points in my book. In fact, I prefer it. I get enough unappreciative "straight" dick during a shoot week, outside of work, thanks but no thanks. I want to taste the rainbow not tuna flavored penis that's been doused in shame. I am not available for on the down low semen release. I am not going to guide you through your sexual discovery/confusion. And I'm not your stepping stone out of the closet. If you want to fuck then you best be queer and you best be proud. I am GAY 4 GAY.

Just Do Me

A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE WE COPULATE: PART ONE

Sex is a wonderful thing. Sexual arousal, sexual conquest, and sexual fulfillment are all activities that I take great pleasure in. Depending on my mood, these are all activities that require a partner or two... or three... or an entire gang. Some people may think that I have no trouble finding playmates for my bedroom/backroom/bathroom stall/dressing room/truck stop dates but more often than not, finding these partners takes a little bit of effort. Not like many of you want to sleep with me but for the few of you who do, there are a some things you should know about me before you even try. This is one of them:

I am NOT your future boyfriend. No matter how affectionate I'm being towards you during our night/hours/half hour/5 minutes together, I don't want to be your boyfriend. I already have a boyfriend. I'm only capable of loving one person and that one person is Marcus (admittedly I do a lousy job of it but still). I'm NOT saying that I'm so good in bed that you'll fall in love with me. I'm actually pretty horrid in bed but for some reason my old geezer/5 year old child amalgamation of a nerd-centric personality seems to make the sluts I sleep with fall head over heels for me. Don't. It's all about fun for me, fun found in your hard-on, not in your heart. My emotions are not a part of our equation so don't involve yours. It's sinful, adulterated, no strings attached fornication, nothing more, maybe less. Just friends are fine but fuck buddies are what I aim for. To put it simply, just do me.