What did I just sign up for?

I gave in and got on twitter so if you'd like to,
I can't promise it'll be anything exciting but you never know.

Positive, Thankful, and Over It

The past seven days have been interesting. I wasn't exactly prepared to have my HIV status broadcast all over the internet but I was pleasantly surprised by the flood of support I received. From The Advocate to Gay Russia, it seemed like everyone wanted to talk about it. By now I'm sure the story has been discussed so much that most of you are sick of reading about it, but I have a few final things to say on the subject matter before I move on.

First, I would like to say that I was depressed (for a short while) NOT surprised that I had contracted HIV. I am solely responsible for my health. I was well aware of the risks and dangers associated with bareback sex but I ignored them. Is that stupid of me? I suppose. Do I wish I had been safer? Of course. But there is no changing the past, I can only hope that I make smarter decisions in my future.

Second, I would like to send out a special thank you to all of the people in the gay porn industry who showed me kindness and gave me support. I was touched to know that so many of you cared. Especially Zachary Sire from TheSword.com, Jason Sechrest of JasonCurious.com, and Jasun Mark of GayDailyHot.com. The three of you are the best. I'm lucky as fuck to have y'all on my side. Seriously. LUCKY AS FUCK. I'd like to thank The Advocate for taking the time to interview me and POZ blogs for writing about me in a positive light. And I have to thank Steven over at QueerClick for getting me that interview with The Advocate. I am grateful to Chris Ward for publicly offering me a job(and boosting my ego), Treasure Island Media for also offering me a job, and my Boss at Next Door Studios, Stephan Sirard, for publicly offering to renew my contract.

Finally, I don't need someone to talk to, I need someone to fuck me!... I mean THANK YOU. Thank you to all of my readers, supporters, and fans. Your positive comments and words of encouragement mean a lot to me. I totally don't deserve you, your attention, or your admiration. But I'll take whatever y'all give me.

Now can I please get off of this damn hospital bed/burning at the stake and resume my sexually deviant ways?

My Turn

My former roommate and I have had our differences throughout our history together. I was by no means ever his best friend but up until recently I never thought that we had any serious issues with one another. When I first met him he had no place to live, a job that couldn't afford him much on his own, no real friends to speak of, and a car that he claimed was falling apart. So I leased a house with him where he was only responsible to pay one third of the rent while I paid two thirds, I fully furnished the entire house, including his bedroom, and I purchased all of the appliances for the both of us to utilize. I let him use all of my things as if they were his own, I introduced him to his current "close" friends, and I introduced him to a guy that eventually became his boyfriend. I helped him get into porn, I came up with his stage name, and I created his blog. Hell, I even gave him money towards the down payment for his new car. This was one of the rare examples in my life where I invested a great deal of time, money, and effort into making and maintaining a friendship with another gay man. In fact, this was my costliest attempt ever. It lasted eight months but it ultimately failed.

When I decided to move out in the middle of June, I had already paid ALL of the bills for the month and my portion of the rent, I also paid the rent for the month of July, and I left all of my furniture and appliances there for him to use. I gave him a full seven weeks to find two new roommates to pick up my part of the rent. He found two new roommates within two weeks. They lived there rent free for the entire month of July. And when it came time for me to take back my furniture, I chose to give him my refrigerator and a queen-size mattress so that he wasn't left entirely empty handed. I actually felt bad for him. Though things didn't work out between us I never had any negative feelings towards him and I only wished him the best... That's not the case anymore...

Last week, my former roommate decided to post a ridiculous, overly-dramatic story on his blog about his experience living with Marcus and me. In it he accused us of many things, from skipping out on the rent to breaking and entering. None of it was true. This was followed by him publicly disclosing my current health status, without my consent, via his twitter account and then proceeding to defame me by claiming that I was spreading STDs. A flat out unsubstantiated lie. Words can not describe how disgusted I am with him and his actions.

I did a lot for him and to have him say all the things he said really baffles me. I know what his goal was. He wanted to garner your attention, your sympathy, and your adoration. He thought by smearing my name he would somehow get your attention. He believed it would drive traffic to his blog and gain him thousands of new fans. He had faith that his words, his lies, and his shameless tactics would push me out of the porn world and make room for him. Well he was wrong and he failed miserably. I got to give him credit for trying though but now it's my turn.

To all of my supporters: I have one favor to ask of you. Help me make my former roommates porn career a short one. Don't write about him online. Don't watch his porn. Don't promote any videos that he is featured in. Don't read his blog. Don't follow him on twitter. Don't friend him on facebook. Don't even mention his name... Simply ignore him. Just forget him.

STOP

Since testing positive in May, I have hooked up with a total of three people and they were all HIV positive themselves. Seriously. I have not gone around fucking, barebacking, or infecting HIV negative people. I am a sex fiend. I am NOT a monster. So to the people who are spreading rumors that I have done otherwise, STOP. You are not saving anyone's life by talking about me so STOP. You can not equate countless hours spent browsing hook-up sites and blogging about my sexual desires online to a wild and irresponsible sex life offline so STOP. You don't know what I do in my private life so STOP. What you are saying about me could be considered defamatory so STOP. You have already done enough damage so STOP. Seriously. Just STOP.

Owning My House In Vermont

I have something to say. I spent the last few months waiting for the right time to tell you but it turns out that there is no right time... I wish I could put this off for a little while longer but information like this usually finds a way of coming out sooner than later. In fact, people have already begun to talk so I might as well just tell you now. I tested positive. I have only myself to blame. I have HIV and it kind of sucks.